You can be ugly as:
- a hatful of arseholes
- a busted arse
- a hatful of busted arsholes

You could have:
- been beaten with the ugly stick
- been beaten with the ugly stick, then took it off them and ate it
- fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

You could have a face like:
- a robber's dog (or a thief's dog)
- a smashed pineapple
- a smashed crab
- a dropped pie

You could be so ugly:
- you'd be stuck for a face when the baboon wanted its arse back
- you'd make a train take a dirt road