When you do your bitch doggie style under the coffee table, when she sticks her head out the other side you punch it. Hince the word turtle fuck
Joseph turtle fucked his old lady that is why she has a knot on the back of her head
by Made Man August 20, 2006
Top Definition
When a soldier hits another soldier's kevlar helment with his own kevlar. Since the cover is usually green camo it looks like to turtles rubbing together, hence the name. I t isn't used much anymore because most soldiers are running around in desert uniforms now because of OEF and OIF
{Sneaks up from behind Joe Snuffy} Ow, what the fuck you hit me in the head for?
by anonymous August 02, 2004
A fuck done in the style of a turtle. Meaning in a shell.
A turtlefuck is a little-known sex position that is slightly more complicated than most. It requires that both participants wear turtleshells large enough to place themselves in (this usually means a fake or synthetic turleshell). The actually sex must be done almost doggystyle but with the shells on, and VERY slowly. This cannot be stressed enough as any rapid movement in the turtlefuck will make it unsuccessful. And green paint may be needed in some very VERY special circumstances. Also, there must be a song about turtles, a cartoon featuring turtles, or a large poster with a turtle on it. Or, in ideal situations for a turtlefuck, there may be as many as 500 live turtles in the immediate vicinity of the turtlefuck(s).
A common misconception about the turtlefuck is that it does not alter the birth of children. A good example is how most people believe the Teenage Ninja Turtles to be the result of some crazy radioactive shit and turtles. The truth of the matter is that the Teenage Ninja Turtles are the result of a highly successfull turltefuck between Chuck Norris and Wonderwoman.
Turtlefuck is also sometimes a term used to a person. see the example 1.
1-Dude, you are a turtlefuck.
2-He/She is down for a good ol' turtlefuck.
3-Hey baby, i got the shells, time for a TURLTEFUCK!
by C. Bond May 22, 2007
Military or construction worker slang for when one person slams his helmet on another persons helmet while on their head.
Hey shithead. Ever see a turtle fuck? No? WHAM!
by Jolecage June 18, 2008
Cut off his/her arms and legs turn him/her over and throw him/her on their bed and fuck them.....like a turtle
i totally turtle fucked her
by master-debater66665 July 16, 2009
A slow moving disaster
My son has a doubleheader tonight. It's going to be hot and muggy and the mosquitoes are gonna be everywhere. This is going to be a turtlefuck!
by St Charles Whisker Biscuit September 14, 2015
When the girl you are fuckin just wants to lay on her back while you stick your cock in her shell. She Will refuse to do any sort of work and rather just last there legs wide open and motionless. (Sometimes groaning like a turtle during mating *see youtube*)
"baby im tired you get on top and work it...noooo i jus wanna lay hereeeee" YOU HAVE A CLASSIC TURTLE FUCK ON YOUR HANDS
by bfica287 November 12, 2009
a pancake that is being used for masturbation.
damn hand me that turtle fuck
by Georgia Brott November 13, 2007

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