Skip to main content

Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
Teaching Crabs How To Read mug front
Get the Teaching Crabs How To Read mug.
See more merch

threading 

Since the late 1800s, competitive threading has been an important part of the yarndling fraternity. Marks are awarded for artistic kedding, skilful use of the verricule holder and overall 'authenticity of purpose'. The Tasmanian branch of the Yarndling Association in Hobart, Tasmania is a particularly strong contender in the Antipodean regionals, citing "fun, tempered with social responsibility" as their watchword.
During the 2012 London Olympics, Team GB would often remind the public of its commitment to the "spirit of yarndling", principally in its emphasis on fair play, equality for all, and competitive threading.
threading by Cod Michael May 18, 2020

threadcop 

a person who enforces message board rules in an imperious, incessant, or otherwise annoying manner.
The term "threadcop" originates from the idea of calling a message board topic a "thread." This hails back to the naming conventions of older message board systems.
threadcop by Moggraider October 16, 2008

Kansas Tornado 

When you masturbate into the hose of someone's anti-snoring sleep device. The cum then flies around in the hose in a circular fashion gaining pressure until it hits the sleeping person's face. The resulting shock combined with the wind and sound makes the person wake up and think that they are in a tornado.
My friend John was passed out with his sleep device on so I unhooked the house and jerked off in it. He woke up when the jizz hit his face and screamed, "Wow, Ocean City Hurricane last night, and now a Kansas Tornado!"
Kansas Tornado by Ed Rooney Jr September 6, 2016

spiderman thread 

A message board posting technique designed to end or derail threads that its user finds uninteresting or lacking productive discussion. This technique involves posting screencaps from the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon series with humorous captions unrelated to the original thread topic. The user generally initiates a Spiderman thread with captions intended to declare that the original thread topic will no longer be discussed. Occasionally, additional users contribute to the derailing with their own screencaps of Spider-Man. Frequently used on 4chan's various message boards, where the technique originated. Generally used to derail threads about incest or "wincest."
Wincest? That's a funny way to say Spiderman thread.

bait thread 

A bait thread is an online forum post or thread designed to provoke a reaction. related to trolling.
Chad Warden: Wii U....more like Pii U.

Common replies to bait thread include:
bait.jpg (picture of a fish and hook)
gr8 b8 m8 (great bait mate)
bait thread by Umaster1 February 3, 2014

too many sticky threads

When forum moderator stick too many threads, so that you have to scroll down to see new ones every time you visit forum. Sticky threads may have useless or obsolete informations, but moderators do not delete them.

Generally considered bad practice.
example 1:
user 1: please un-stiky these threads! They are old and have useless information.
user 1 banned from forums.

example 2: google "too many sticky threads!"