the crack theory 

the crack theory is a theory that states that it is not sexy to see an ass crack no matter who it is on, and the only time crack is sexy is when cheeks are involved

yo that girl has a fat ass, but that crack aint workin for me

the crack theory by Da XCellent July 10, 2004

The 'crack sweat' theorem

Theory identifying the cause of a consistent, vague odour of fecal matter i.e. absolute shit, in some.
The theory states: initially, said person, has failed to properly wipe their crack fully, thus leaving remnants of shit (dingleberries). With strenuous activity and/ or heat, sweat develops within the ass crack. This sweat mixes with the now encrusted and dried fecal matter, bringing it back to life, creating a noxious fume- comparable to shitting your pants.

Proposed in 2006.

Turdpreet: 'Yo, geeza, I swear i can smell shit ya' know; like full on shit!'

Shitinderpal: 'Yeh geez, me too. I smell it all the time in this lesson, it's probably (insert name here), 'cus he's so fat- he properly can't wipe his arse properly!'

Turdepreet: 'Oh yeah, that's a good point, that ties in nicely with the 'crack sweat' theorem (2006). That explains it!'

Shitinderpal: 'Oi (insert name here) you fat twat, go wipe your bumhole son, you need some bleach in there, smells like hardcore shit!'

The 'crack sweat' theorem by Anonymous Bosch June 13, 2012