an evil underground network of overprotective 30-40 yearolds who dirve around in s.u.v's or minie vans or volvo's who hate tv, internet and teenagers. this "mafia" of soccer momsknows everything that goes on in your town and gossips about every little thing that other peoples kids do.
by milo March 9, 2004
They name their children Madison, Britney, Caitlyn, Tanner, Bryce, Trevor... they drive an SUV or minivan embossed with soccer ball decals and honor student bumper stickers... their two most prized possessions: their cell phone and their sport water bottle... their husbands are never around, either at work or playing golf... they live in a constant state of suspicion of anyone "different" or not from their neighborhood (which usually is gated to keep those other people out).
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
The soccer moms of River Place subdivision gathered at Starbucks to discuss the growing problem of suspicious-looking Hispanic lawn crews prowling up and down their streets. Molly suggested that they discuss the issue with the HOA, to which Cindy said, "Good idea! Maybe we can make a rule requiring all Hispanics who come to our neighborhood be required to pass a background check."
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
Middle to upper class white 30 to 45 year old moms that think every friggin thing is violent, except for their perfect little brats that they call children and their mini vans/elephant sized SUV's that use more gas than a plane going to Australia. Most of them are mind drones to their husbands who are the only provider of money seeing as none of them have jobs. They carry 100$ coffe, and a cell phone with them everywhere. And most of the time their vocal chords hurt from screaming their kids name at his or her soccer/baseball game 24/7. They want to censor everything that isn's christian, because its "evil." and feel only G rated movies and E rated video games are suitable for their bratty as hell kids. One of the most ignorant people around, because they think anything that isn't christian, white, and swear and or violence free is damed to hell.
"that soccer mom just cut me off in her gianst SUV cause she's late for her brat's soccer game, now i have a fender bender that she blamed on me"
by questionmarkc October 4, 2005
One of those moms you see in game stores who freaks the fuck out at managers for "polluting th minds of our youth". The soccer mom(read: bitch will commonly cut you off in traffic without warning, and then honk rapidly. On the back of her blue minivan/SUV there is ALWAYS a stupid generic soccer ball sticker. There are also about 2 to 3 stickers saying "my little fucker is an honor roll student at _____ Middle School."
In my local mall one day, I was just going into the music store to buy a new CD. I had my headphones on and was listening to my favorite band, Rammstein. A soccer mom(carrying PETA-endorsing stickers and pamphlets) approached me and yelled at me about my "Nazi pollution"(she could obviously hear it). I took my kickass German CD out and loaded it into one of the store's useable stereos, and turned the volume to the max. Bitch.
by Zwitterkrieger January 25, 2004
1.A middle to upper-class post-baby boomer woman, usually white, who usually spends her time homemaking. Her children are her whole world, and she considers them to be the exceptions to every rule. She cannot control them and expects everyone else to deal with that. She loves trendy diets and hair styles, is fashionably late to her children's sport practices, and insists that her children's teachers do not challenge them enough. Debate rages over her political leanings, but regardless, she feels that her and her family are moral soldiers, making sure that those who have "questionable" character are ignored, shunned, and avoided. She lives in the suburbs and drives an expensive SUV that her husband had lifted into the stratosphere, even though it will undoubtedly never be taken off-road once. Can frequently be seen standing in line in coffee shops and pays for a pack of gum with a debit card.
2.An object of sexual infatuation for many young men between 20 and 40.
2.An object of sexual infatuation for many young men between 20 and 40.
by Guinness for everything July 14, 2005
Annoying bitch who stays at home to clean. She picks up here kids at school every day to lug them of to some kind of sports practice. She uses the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings as a tool to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kiddie learning games websites for 30 minutes a day. If someone says "an inappropriate word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. She usually drives an SUV with a bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little bitch of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to Oldies music or Christian "Family" Music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her precious angels who still sit in a carseat at age 9. bHer husband is usually a doctor, realtor, or some other money-making job.
by rapsux March 16, 2005
A bunch of repressive, middle to upper-class bitches. They always live in those Suburban neighborhoods, they are almost always a conservative republican, or conservative democrat. Soccer Moms are the reason for all of the useless censorship rules. They are snotty, rude, arrogant, and bitchy. They usually drive huge-ass SUVS, which they load their "precious, adorable, awesome, and better than everyone else" brat kids into every weekday for some kind of sport. A soccer-mom basically lives through her kids, she has them out doing all of the things she wanted to do as a kid. Her husband is never home, because his wife is such a repressive bitch, and won't have sex with him because she's afraid the kids will here them. Thus, he screws his secretary. A Soccer Mom will not allow her kids to watch any movies over the rating PG. She usually is involved with PTA meetings, and does snack days, is selective with who her kids can be around, and who they can't.
Soccer Moms fail.
by greenpeas August 19, 2009