Testimoney 

n. 1. money given to a paid actor or actress for a court case (or the media run-up to a court case) who upon taking the money, simultaneously or subsequently or concurrently takes on the assigned, paid-for, and scripted role provided to the actor or actress, for whatever ultimate purpose the payee has in mind.

2. A freudian slip by Team Treyvon

Corey B. King
@coreybking

@JeffWeinerOS I still want to know why your newspaper rag did not post the actual transcript of Witness 8's testimoney with Bernie...why?

8:43 PM - 06 Mar 13

Testimoney by Taqiyyologist March 6, 2013

long dark teatime of the soul 

A sensation of an emotional void and pointlessness filling a Sunday afternoon, and the sensation of the impending Monday.
Coined by Douglas Adams in his 1982 book "Life, the Universe and Everything", and serving as the title for another of his books in 1988.
Synonymous with The Glenroes, and when exacerbated by a hangover - with the Sunday Scaries.

"In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2:55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul."

- Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything.

long dark teatime of the soul by saint_yossarian April 15, 2019

Textimate 

The act of guessing what a fellow texter has said after failing to use the 'WORD' function on the cell phone correctly.

Man 1: What the hell does 'Puck my dial' mean?

Man 2: I'm going to textimate and say that they meant, 'Suck my Dick'

Textimate by MirandaxPanda March 5, 2009

textimony

Verb- A very large text message.

Plural- Textimonies.

Example 1: Please don’t sending me a Textimony..

Example 2: Bitch keeps spamming me with Textimonies!

textimony by kinglion102 January 8, 2014

Intestinal Testimony 

A gastrointestinal event by which you are made aware of impending disaster, either in the form or noxious flatulence, explosive diarrhea, or the dreaded shart. Intestinal Testimony (IT) presents as loud gurgling noises coming from the region of the abdomen usually below the navel. It is audible to up to fifteen feet away. Not to be confused with an actual fart, with IT there is no expulsion of gas or feces, just the heralding trumpets of the massive toilet turmoil to come.

No, Gary is just giviing Intestinal Testimony to the shit he is about to take. I told him not to eat that much king crab!!

Intestinal Testimony by Catnymph July 22, 2010

Shaw-Tea™

A pun on the word shawty, which can be (if used correctly) hilarious.

Ryan: I like putting a spoon in my Shaw-Tea™.
Justin: lolololololol

Shaw-Tea™ by RH&JC Company June 19, 2009

Textimonial 

This is a text, ranging from long to very short, confessing something that he/she could not otherwise do face-to-face.

"He sent her a long textimonial, confessing his true love."

"After the party she sent me a textimonial about how much she wanted to jump my bones"

Textimonial by michaliann September 15, 2009