Tarkovian 

adj.
relating to Tarkov, its people, or their language.

noun
1. an inhabitant of Tarkov, or a person of that plays the game Escape from Tarkov
2. the language spoken by caffeinated gamers after being sent back to the stash prematurely, usually because of a massive skill issue

Also known as Opachi's - Cheekie Breekie's - or in rare cases Chaddicus Thiccicus.

Those dang Tarkovian's keep headtapping me at distance. I must have SKILL ISSUE.

Did you hear that gamer speaking Tarkovian? Some Chaddicus must've steamrolled them!

Tarkovian by A Real Tarkovian October 26, 2022

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus 

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus: Noticeable Swelling of the Male Testicular Region. Results from over exposure from a Popular fps MMO Shooter Escape from Tarkov. May produce long lasting reproproductive harm, and thus the inability to reproduce.

Symptom's of Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus include: Trouble taking deep breaths, increased need to write code or hacks that allows yourself or others to cheat to win inside Escape from Tarkov, purchase 3rd party cheats or hacks from others who lack the ability to reproduce and most likely live in the basement of parents home. Using Real Currency to purchase otherwise free ingame lootables, example: roubles, guns, armor, keys, etc. An overwhelming sense of insecurity of ones Pee pee, inability to complete sentences, make direct eye contact with the opposite sex

This definition has not been approved by the FDA and has no clear and or concise way of preventing its outcome except as to not play Escape from Tarkov because you are just bad at it.

subject 1: Have you noticed anything wrong with subject 3 recently?
subject 2: Yes it appears subject 3 has a very noticeable growth to his Groinal region.

subject 1: Pretty sure he has contracted Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus
subject 2: Should we possibly speak to his wife?
subject 1: Nope, if she hasn't noticed by now what's the point.

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus by Upin Urmum September 14, 2021

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus 

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus: Noticeable Swelling of the Male Testicular Region. Results from over exposure from a Popular fps MMO Shooter Escape from Tarkov. May produce long lasting reproproductive harm, and thus the inability to reproduce.

Symptom's of Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus include: Trouble taking deep breaths, increased need to write code or hacks that allows yourself or others to cheat to win inside Escape from Tarkov, purchase 3rd party cheats or hacks from others who lack the ability to reproduce and most likely live in the basement of parents home. Using Real Currency to purchase otherwise free ingame lootables, example: roubles, guns, armor, keys, etc. An overwhelming sense of insecurity of ones Pee pee, inability to complete sentences, make direct eye contact with the opposite sex

This definition has not been approved by the FDA and has no clear and or concise way of preventing its outcome except as to not play Escape from Tarkov because you are just bad at it.

subject 1: Have you noticed anything wrong with subject 3 recently?
subject 2: Yes it appears subject 3 has a very noticeable growth to his Groinal region.

subject 1: Pretty sure he has contracted Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus
subject 2: Should we possibly speak to his wife?
subject 1: Nope, if she hasn't noticed by now what's the point.

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus by Upin Urmum September 14, 2021