The Tar and Feather is a sexual move where the male ejaculates all over the face of the female partner, and proceeds to rip out bunches of his own pubic hair and throw it all on the female's semen-covered face to give a full on lumberjack beard (the equivalent of being tarred and feathered).
"A man walked into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey I'm gonna need to see some ID.' So the man pulls out his... license and gives it to the bartender. The bartender, who'll we'll call Rick, scans the ID, and the ID doesn't cut it. Rick asks the man to leave, but the man protests. So Rick pulls... out his phone. Rick calls the police to escort the man and in a minute the police arrive and try to get the man to leave, but he is belligerent and fights them. In a vagrant display of police brutality, an officer whips out his... taser and zaps the man, who is easily transported to jail. Rick closes his pub after the long days' work and heads home. On the street Rick sees a young girl selling lemonade on the street. Rick decides to give the girl a big surprise that she won't forget, so he extracts his... wallet and hands her a $20 bill. Then he goes home, and when his wife criticizes his pubic and hair and demands he does some manscaping. Rick becomes angry, and during his wife's slumber that night, he pulls out his... shoes and goes for a walk. He walks down the country road and sees a prostitute standing across the road from a herd of cattle. He Tar and Feathered a cow and went home.