tainted surface 

The act of rubbing another persons Microsoft Surface tablet on your taint and/or genitalia, usually as a retaliatory joke but sometimes for sexual pleasure. The tablet owners name is usually placed in the middle of the statement.

Man, I just tainted Sean's surface..... At first it was funny, but then it felt good and I couldn't stop myself. Tainted Surface

tainted surface by Notyouraveragemegatron May 23, 2014

Tainted Slam 

When someone hooks up with a nasty girl, usually due to alcohol, horniness, or low self esteem.

-Dude i heard eric banged that girl last night!
-U mean the one with the lazy eye, kankles, and lop sided titties??
-tainted slam!!!

Tainted Slam by da JMAN jankit February 9, 2009

Tainted Soldier 

When you take a handful of sweat from between your balls and your ass and slap it on your partner’s face like war paint.

My partner said that the sexual maneuver was too risky so I gave her a tainted soldier and called her my warrior!

Tainted Soldier by mrmojorisin880 February 26, 2019

tainted squirrel 

When you're getting your dick sucked and the woman takes balls in mouth while sticking her tounge out to lick the taint.

That whore Cindy gave me a bj along with a tainted squirrel last night.

tainted squirrel by 12bdk May 3, 2016

tainted salami 

When you dip your dick in paint then proceed to slap a person in the face.

I woke up my brother with a tainted salami.

tainted salami by Michael Megyery June 11, 2006

Tainted swampy gooch slime 

When you're gooch is tainted with with swamp slime.

Jax is a tainted swampy gooch slime.

Tainted swampy gooch slime by AustinAsh February 11, 2015

Tainted Status 

When you make a genuinely funny Facebook status and someone corrects a small grammatical error you made and then that's all people notice.

Status: Who makes the sandwich if your in a gay relationship?

Comment: *you're

Comment after that: wow nice grammar lol

Response to comment: that is now a tainted status

Tainted Status by original name May 29, 2012