110
a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005

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148
A really cheap cry for help that is no longer used to escape depression or melancholy but used by surburban high school teens looking to enhance their self image and make themselves seem more emotional and deep so female emo girls can have someone to spill all their insecure emotions on.
I'm going to commit suicide tomorrow!

Why?

Because it's the cool thing to do, duh!
by rob ricksen February 24, 2006

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149
The cowardly way to solve your problems. Most kids feel the should commit suicide at times, or actually are suicidal only because they are extremely depressed and can't look past the fact that life has its ups and downs.

Respect your loved ones
Get over it.
Jim: Hey man i think i wanna commit suicide.

Dave: Don't do that, you're probly depressed now man but you'll get over it.
by Speedmetal0789 November 29, 2005

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150
It's something people do for attention hoping that by killing themselves people will feel sorry for them.
Sally was a desperate whore who constantly cut herslef and put sad stories up her away messages to get attention, it was no suprise to me when she committed suicide.
by Sexyyyyy July 19, 2007

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151
something a loser does when he has no friends,girls reject him,gets his ass kicked by all the cool people because the loser sucks and has no life and because the cool people are superior to him in every way.He tries to make a big show about it by jumping off a building to see if anyone will care when they don't and laugh when his ugly face hits the pavement.if he suceeds he goes to hell to burn for eternity and no one will attend his funeral.if he fails he will be arrestedand sent to prison where he'll get raped,beat up,stabed,tortured,and bullied for the rest of his pitiful existence.
loser:im gonna commit suicide!
cool people:jump jump jump jump!!!!
loser jumps and dies
cool people laugh,cheer, and make out
loser's funeral
no ones there
reverend:fuck this i'm gonna have sex with my hot wife
which this loser would never get.he's going to hell anyway.
school, days later
everything is better since that loser commited suicide

Suicide is funnier than all the best stand-up comedians combined.
by loserh8r December 27, 2006

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152
self-pitty.
permedent result for temporary problem.
the most selfish thing one could possiably do.
so and so thought they had no one to talk to and no one that cared, they hung themslefs. and 3 days later you should of seen how many people were crying looking at his casket.
by kaite January 24, 2004

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153
Something that more depressesd people should do to help prevent overpopulation.
That emo kid should really try to help the cause and commit suicide.
by Stephanie January 23, 2005

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154
The act of taking your own life when you realize that you are too weak to deal with problems that everyone faces. It's interesting to see how many potential suiciders happen to be citizens of the greatest country on earth (the united states of america). If you are a citizin of a very powerful country with many opportunities and things to look forward to and be grateful for, it's very ironic how you could choose to end their own life. By commiting suicide, you are admitting that you were too ignorant to realize that you were very fortunate to have been born in a country were women aren't shot at for not covering themselves, or were young kids aren't forced to work in sweat shops. Suicide is indeed selfish and weak. It is amazing how someone in america can come to the conclusion that their life is so horrible that they must end it, when there are thousands of people all over the world who are starving, people forced to be slaves, people tortured and killed, young kids who are forced to work 16 hour shifts with little or no pay. Everyone in life has problems. Suck it up.
If you have attempted suicide, or seriously considered it, you
should die.
by GimmiK April 15, 2006

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