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1.
The ultimate in modern security searches to be performed by TSA officials on members of the public at the entry of all government facilities and prior to those citizens boarding any form of transportation.

Citizens wishing to board an airplane, for example, are gate raped by members of the TSA through a thorough pat down and followed up with the "strip-n-spread", wherein the citizen disrobes, lays back and is fitted into comfy warm stirrups prior to their mandatory cavity search.
Before TSA implemented the strip-n-spread I was so scared of taking the bus to work. Now I can feel secure in knowing that my fellow passengers have nothing explosive shoved up their asterisk
by justthinkin' November 28, 2010