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I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on 

Extremely good comeback for anyone, whether its a bully, friend or someone online calling you "gay" or anything similar in an attempt to offend and provoke you. If only I came up with this insult when an old friend called me a gay person.
Person 1: Why are you touching me? Are you gay?
Person 2: Bro, I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on
Person 1: (Speechless)

straighter than a honeymoon dick

A)The assumption is that if you are a good, decent, god-fearing, American man, you will have waited to fornicate with a woman until after your wedding/(start of honeymoon). At which point your Johnson will be fucking ready to go... pretty much anything straighter than that.

B)a phrase most often heard from douche-bag male golfers, who mutter it under their breath in frustrated confusion after slamming the ball totally through the break of their given line while putting.
A)"All's I'm saying is there are some guys you just don't have to question, for instance Chuck Norris is 'straighter than a honeymoon dick'"

B)Caddie: You can sink this one Rmull I'm sure the line is a cup on the left.
(golfer putts and misses a cup on the left)
Douchebag: "Your fired! (now grumbling) Fucking putt was straighter than a honeymoon dick.

straighter than a ruler 

Someone who likes the opposite gender only and usually very strongly.
“Heh Becca, did you hear about that new kid named Noah?”
“Yeah, he’s straighter than a ruler.”

Straighter than a line 

A term used to describe heterosexuals who are undoubtedly and fully heterosexual, showing not even the slightest trace of homosexuality or bisexuality
Person: Ayo, i got 100% straight on the gay test! I'm straighter than a line!

*He proceeds to make out with Lauren for 5 hours*

Worse than a short well and a straight pipe 

Wow this is worse than a short well and a straight pipe.
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026