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Candarian stalagmite 

A turd dilivered from a human anoose inside of a cave that stands proud and erect rising from the cave floor pointing towards the ceiling. The Candarian stalagmite has a remarkable resemblance to a regular stelagmite.
It is good fun to drop a Candarian stalagmite and have it discovered and examined by unsuspecting spelunkers.

Stalagmite

A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.
John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.
Stalagmite by Lucky Is Sucky April 22, 2011

Stalagtits 

I took this bird home the other night and when she took her bra off I was confronted by the most tremendously long set of stalagtits that I have ever seen.I was gripped.
Stalagtits by stanny 29 August 9, 2008

stalagmite

The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).
After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)

sweatpant stalagmite 

A brownish stain formed on the front of a pair of mens' sweatpants, caused by accumulated drips of urine through geologic history.
Jeremy is such a slob... did you see him sporting that sweatpant stalagmite yesterday?
sweatpant stalagmite by Tom&Nic April 18, 2008

cum stalagtite

When you jack off in an enclosed space and the cum reaches the cieling of the structure. It stays there and becomes hard, thus making stalagtites.
After a stressful night, there was cum stalagtites in the Matt Cave, fresh with the morning air.
cum stalagtite by Count Blackula January 21, 2004