sphagnum 

moss that is found in wet, spongy ground.

person a: So what do you do for fun?
person b: I enjoy watching sphagnum grow.

sphagnum by Pat November 12, 2004

sphagnum 

really crap under rehearsed band, who play friends of friends parties at bowling clubs etc...instead of applause they receive calls of "jukebox"

"gee this band sux, what a bunch of sphagnums! JUKEBOX!"

sphagnum by slimey January 13, 2005

Sphagnum 

Used as an ass wiping substance by members of the US forest service’s.

Excuse me miss, you have Sphagnum on your chin

Sphagnum by NE Kingdom September 11, 2022

Shagnum 

a original Jamaican recipe of tonic wine specialised to give you that raunchy feeling needed for the ultimate shag of your life.

Tyrell :"oi bro im linking big back Bianca later imma have to roll tru bossmans to get a crate of shagnums in innit."
Jon: "yhyh you know how it is aha, SHAGNUM SIPPA."

Shagnum by Han2wordy May 28, 2021

Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act 

A legislation dat prevents seed or live-plant vendors from denying your customer-dissatisfaction claim merely because you used your own mulch instead of theirs.

Before da Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act has been passed, it was prohibitively expensive for many folks to do small-scale gardening, since they'd been obliged to purchase both their seedlings and mulch from da same vendor.

Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act by QuacksO November 16, 2020