Skip to main content

Sleepturbating 

The act of unknowingly masturbating while sleeping, often to the discomfort of your bed partner. Not usually remembered the following morning.
Lady: Sorry I couldn't help you out last night... I had a headache.

Dude: Whaddaya mean?

Lady: Oh, you don't remember? You woke me up three times last night, you were sleepturbating.

Dude: Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Sleepturbating by emuishere December 20, 2009
Sleepturbating mug front
Get the Sleepturbating mug.
See more merch

sleepsturbate 

The involuntary action of manually manipulating one's genitals during REM sleep. This phenomenon is responsible for some unverifiable portion -- scientific estimates point to 5-10% -- of nocturnal emissions. It is rarely discussed in polite conversation, but is assuredly real. When caught in the act by an incidental third party observer, the awoken offender is often characterized by denial and defensiveness. The following sample text is a rare exception.
Brett: <to roommate sleeping in common living area> Mike -- What are you doing?

Mike: <wakes suddenly and looks down at occupied hands> Dude ... I'm trying to sleepsturbate here.

Brett: What? Can you do that in your room?

Mike: I'll spell it out for you later, asshole.
sleepsturbate by von dildus August 6, 2010

sleepurbate 

The act of masturbating as to cause loss of stamina and increase of fatigue to induce sleep quickly.
Got a test tomorrow, better sleepurbate.
sleepurbate by whitebolo January 20, 2005

sleepturbate

The act of self-pleasuring unconsciously, while sleeping or dozing. Usually with/on a pillow or blanket.
"Wow. I must be hornier than I thought. From the look of my throw pillow, I totally sleepturbated last night."
sleepturbate by helamonster December 16, 2013

sleepterbate 

Ex: I thought my son was getting into my playboys but then I realized that I just sleepterbate.
sleepterbate by Captive_raptor January 13, 2014

Sleepturbate

A verb.

Before you sleep you masturbate.
"It's been a while since the last time I sleepturbate 'coz I'm kinda busy lately."
Sleepturbate by WittyTaki December 26, 2017

sleepturbation 

the important art of jacking off while sleeping
I was really tired, so I fell asleep. During my nap, my girlfriend walked in and I was sleepturbating. Boy did I hear that the rest the evening.

Sleepturbation ruins the fun of jacking off. Waking up with cum stains and no porn really fucks up my parade.