Sex is like math:

You add the bed,
Subtract the clothes,
Divide the legs,
And pray you don't multiply.
Guy 1 to guy 2: Sarah and I were remembering high school math in bed last night when we had sex. We went at it like wild monkeys!
by (v.j.o) March 27, 2008
Only exercise most Americans get anymore
Sex: Great way to have fun and lose weight at the same time
by andrewtye October 23, 2007
Well, sex is basically one of the greatest, most wonderful sensations known to human kind.
It not only makes babies, but it also makes you healthier ! Careful, though, kid. You could get STDs. :
McKenzi & Jacob hadn't been going out for long.

One night, after Jacob had invited her to a movie, Jacob told her he had to pick something up from his house before he dropped her off.
"You wanna come inside?" he asked her.
Of course she didnt refuse; Jacob was the hottest guy at her school & she'd been dying to get a little action.
Jacob's thoughts were the same.
He walked through the door (his parents were out of town) and went to his bedroom.
With McKenzi close on his heels, he stopped
& looked her straight in the eye.
It became silent, but not in an awkward way. It was more in a "ohh my god, i want to get to know yer body way"
Jacob didnt waste a moment.
He rushed his urgent lips to hers; their soft lips embraced one another as they tangled their arms in eachother's hair and stumbled to the bed.
Jacob was a VERY good kisser, no doubt.
McKenzi was caught the moment, wanting more of him every second.
Before she knew it, his hands were under her shirt, massaging her boobs gently, over the bra, yet she could tell he wanted the real thing.
She helped him out there.
Lifting her shirt over her head, Jacob watched in awe as her 34C bra came undone.
The continued kissing, Jacob was squeezing her tits and tracing his tongue over her lips, her jaw, her neck, collarbone...
he finally got to her nipples and she gasped. She ripped off his shirt & their bare skin was rubbing & before they knew it, their pants were off.
Jacob & McKenzi didnt rush to their genitals at first. They wanted to prolong the moment.
But before they could stop it, Jacobs long, thick boner rubbed against her shaved, pink pussy.
They didnt stop for oral. (blowjob or eating out) Jacob just wanted to get his erected dick into her wet vag.
With McKenzi on the bottom, awaiting Jacob's powerful thrusts, their eyes met & they knew this was going to be the most amazing night of their lives.
When Jacob's hard dick penetrated into her pussy, McKenzi just about exploded. It felt so good. She wanted more... she needed it.
Jacob was soo good. He started out slowly, but began thrusting quicker, harder, deeper as McKenzi's moans became louder.
"Jacob... ohhh Jake. Mmmm, please, oh GOD. youre amazing, oh godd ahhh..."
He brought one hand down from her huge boobs & played with her clit. McKenzi was gasping for air.
"OHH JAKE, mmm. YES! eh! ohh mm."
Soon she was fuckin screaming his name.
Her orgasms drove him insane.
He cummed inside her; shelay gasping & moaning as his dick expanded even more into her pussy.
They stopped for a moment, appreciating how wonderful it was.
Then McKenzi got on top. Jacob wasnt prepared for the full effect of her humping him. She was amazing too, finding everry curve or him & engulfing his dick with her pussy.
He was muttering her name in rhythm.
"mckenzi, baby, ohh. mm, yesyesyesyes !"
They rode eachother almost all night long,
enjoying every second of it. There wasnt a single part of their skin that hadnt been touched by eachother. It was the best night of their lives.
The next day, they woke up together after sleeping in the spoon position. McKenzi could hardly speak from screaming & moaning so much the night before. She could hardly walk, too, but the sex was completely worth it. :D

^Holy fuck man. Im soo wet right now, its driving me mad. Anyone wanna fuckk ? ;]
by OhhBabe ! December 25, 2008
Best thing in the world.
"Well this is my room" I said as I walked into my room with my best friend.
"Wow." He said looking around. I layed back on my bed and sighed. I saw him looking at my out of the corner of my eye. He walked over to me and layed on top of me and started to dry hump me. "What are you doing?" I asked him,
"What does it look like?" He said with a devilish smile as he moved faster.
"Stop!" I yelled,
"You know you like it" He yelled back, and I secretly did. He stopped after a few minutes than started frenching me. I tried to resist, even though I loved the feel of his tongue on mine. He stopped kissing me, then pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He was so muscular!
"You like?" He said after I was staring at him for a few minutes. Then he began to pull my shirt off me,
"Stop!" I said, but he continued to. He snapped off my bra and began to lick my boobs. After a few minutes I let out a small moan.
"See, I knew you liked this!" He yelled as he continued. Then he started to suck on my collarbone. I gasped as he did.

He then stood up and took his pants off, leaving his boxers. He pulled my pants and underwear off me and began to kiss my thigh. He then moved his lips over my pussy and began licking it. I moaned as he did. He kept doing this for a few minutes, then he stopped.
"I'm not done with you yet." He smiled, and took his boxers off. He put his cock into my mouth. My eyes grew large as he smiled. I began giving him a blowjob. He pushed me off before he came though. He flipped me onto my back and layed overtop me. He then pushed his cock into my pussy. I screamed as he did,
"Don't worry, it'll get better." He said as he kissed my cheek. He began thrusting in and out of me, and I started moaning.
"You like?" He smiled devilishly,
"Faster!" I screamed at him,
"Faster??" He began thrusting in and out of me a little faster.
"Faster! Harder! HARDER!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, as he did as I requested. He was thrusting into me as fast and as hard as he could. After a few minutes we both reached out orgasms and I screamed at the top of my lungs as his warm juices went into me. He slowly pulled out of me and started frenching me again. This time I didn't hold back. I let him do whatever he wanted to me. After that I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up, he kissed me and smiled.
"I knew you liked it." He said as I kissed him again, before we had sex again.
by MeMeMe1993 April 30, 2008
When a bird has sex with a bee
"Son.. let me tell you about the birds and the bees"
*Dad explains*
"Any questions

"Yeah dad, why is the bird, having sex with the bee"
by Sgt Fez March 19, 2006
The easiest way to get an unpleasant disease...
'Dude, I got a venereal'
'Was it worth it?'
'Oh yeahhh...'
by Kimmy Booth July 21, 2005
Roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour kissing is a habit fucking is a game guys get all the pleasure girls get all the pain 10 minutes of pleasure 9 monthes of pain 3 days in the hospital a baby with no name the baby is a basterd the mother is a whore this never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore sex us like math you subtract the clothes add the bed divide the legs and pray to god you don't multiply roses are red grass is green open your legs and I'll fill you with cream sex is evil sex is a sin sins are forgiven so stick it in roses are nice violets are fine I'll be the 6 if you be the 9 eat me beat me bite me blow me fuck me suck me very slowly if you like it don't be sassy use your tounge and make it nasty
Have safe sex
by Cutiepie30h3 June 30, 2009

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