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Taking care of yourself, while your wife has her Aunt Flo in town.
Pulled in to get some gash, but all they had was red diesel, had to go to the john for some self service.
by aereilly July 30, 2003
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Self service can be also described as masturbating, sucking your own genitals, fingering your anus.

Females can do this also.
Mom: -Knocking on door- Honey, open the door!

Kid: Be quiet mom, I'm giving myself self service.
by Yeah that. June 23, 2011
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mostly found in facebook when a person post something on his/her wall and surprisingly that person will be the first one to LIKE his/her own post and COMMENT on his/her own post. It's like talking to yourself.
Keeshia Pretty: Im feeling sexy!
Keeshia like this.
Keeshia: yeah right!
Keeshia: hahahaha!
Keeshia: this is self service..LOL!
by red1845 April 25, 2010
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slang for performing solotio
by Pipetrain6969 February 11, 2008
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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To accidentally or intentionally serve ones self.
-i'll just throw a grenade at this noob.... oh shit I dropped it shi--- DEAD
by karl hungus February 09, 2005
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To make a statement to return serve (see served)
In order for self service to occur, the subject must state a fact that is obviously incorrect, mispronounce words or to basically make a fool of one's self in a feeble attempt to make a own of another individual. A successful 'service match' requires an umpire.

Once self-service has occured, the individual who served himself got owned.
(Note: whilst serving at a 'basic' level, serves don't need to make much sense).

Chris:"You're gay!"

Oli: "So's your face!"

Chris:"So's your mother's face".

Oli: "Uhhh...if my mother's face is gay, what does that make mine?"

Umpire Sean: "Lol, self service!"

Chris:"You got owned buddy"
*walks off with the ladies*

In this example, note the similaor subject between serves, this is common whilst servage is occuring. When a Ralleigh gets going, serves tend to get more complex.
by MoooF December 21, 2006
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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Mum sees son in room

Mum: how.cold you self service in my house
by ohdear9762 December 21, 2013
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