santa claus batteries

The poor quality batteries that arrive already installed in electronic toys that you'd recieve on Christmas. Typically green and red, gold and red, or any combination of the three. And ususally weighing about half of what a duracell, or energizer would weigh. Toshiba is a common brand of Santa Claus batteries

person 1- Dude, did you get barreries for the digital camera?

person 2- Yeah man. They're those silver ones, ya know, the kind with the black cat jumping through the number nine.

person 1- Oh fuck! Those are like santa claus batteries. They don't even have the power to turn the camera on!

santa claus batteries by Buzzer December 23, 2007

disco santa claus 

An older gentleman who believes he is cooler than he is. He thinks he is edgy, but since he is so old it just comes off as being cute.

Hey I was just playing Clint Eastwood in COD, he thought he was dirty hairy, but I made him look like a disco santa claus.

disco santa claus by digitalogic8 January 21, 2011

dirty santa claus 

when a Mall Santa picks up and places an innocent child on his lap close enough to "the zone" to grow a chubby.

You can never be too sure when your unsuspecting child might be participating in a dirty santa claus. Stay away from Malls in December!

dirty santa claus by Dr. Simulacra December 13, 2013

holy-santa-claus-shit 

a word used usually during the holidays, after opening an amazing present. Also was used in the movie StepBrothers.

holy-santa-claus-shit I got hulk hands for christmas!!!!

holy-santa-claus-shit by macarron December 20, 2008

santa claus 

The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.

Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.

--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!

--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.

santa claus by This Bumblebee Transformer is going up your fucking ass September 8, 2008

santa claus 

a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.

Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."

Kid : " A tazer."

Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"

Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."

Mom: ......

santa claus by Ninja Cullen December 18, 2009

Santa Claus 

A red communist fat ass who doesn't know how to shave and owes me a pogo stick.

Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.

Santa Claus by FuckYouSanta August 27, 2013