A retardis is usually spotted in pubs (albeit sober)
2) (Conversation between a Retardis and his girlfriend)
Retardis "He's not a real Dr Who - he doesnt have a big scarf. All the real Dr Whos had big scarfs"
Retardis Girlfriend "Hes got a big hat"
Retardis "Oh yes - hes got a big hat. He doesnt have a scarf tho"