The lazy and stupid person's easy answer to life, the universe and everything.

Ultimately, God tells everybody what to do, but there's a hierarchy of minions who are more than willing to tell others what to do on God's behalf.

This suits the dimwitted and idle, because there will always be somebody to do their thinking for them. When life gets difficult, you can just shrug your shoulders, satisfy yourself that it's all in God's bigger plan and shove another burger in your fat, stupid gob.

This also suits manipulative hypocrites who like to believe that their own world view is synonomous with fact and that they should have minions to do their bidding.

Unfortunately, whilst the most problematic religions all agree that there is only one God, they cannot agree on exactly which of them the one true god is. As they are all manipulative hypocrites, convinced of their own unquestionable self importance and absolute correctness, they feel justified in setting their minions upon one another, not caring about innocent bystanders caught in the crossfire - who want nothing to do with the whole ridiculous charade.
Religion through some ages...
6,000years ago
Desert Dweller 1: Why don't we trade with that other tribe? Surely that would be better for all of us?
Desert Dweller 2: Because we're chosen and they're not. We're God's people.
Desert Dweller 1: You've been listening to that looney, Moses again, haven't you?
Desert Dweller 2: Look, he came back with those stone tablets, that clearly God wrote for us.

Desert Dweller 1: Hmmm. And he was gone for, say the amount of time it takes a nutter to chisel ten commandments onto a bit of rock?
Desert Dweller 2: That's blasphemy. I must hoy rocks at your head...

1,500 years ago...
Desert Dweller 1: That Mohammed's getting a bit lairy.
Desert Dweller 2: God told him to hoy rocks at people's heads. If you don't do what God said, you'll be punished.
Desert Dweller 1: And what will God do?
Desert Dweller 2: He'll tell Mohammed to hoy a rock at your head, too....

1,000years ago...
Idiot 1: My God says this is my bit of barren desert.
Idiot 2: My God tells me it's mine.
Idiot 1: My God's better than your God.
Idiot 2: Is not.
Idiot 1: Is too.
(this continues for some time, until a large crowd gathers in support of both idiots and everybody begins hoying rocks at eachother)
by redwave@ymail August 27, 2011
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The biggest lie in human history. It has been responsible for more deaths throughout human history than all other unnatural causes combined. For a thousand years the Church was a tyrannical dictatorship that used religion to control the uneducated masses. Free your minds and come into the 21st century
"Religion is the child of Ignorance and Fear"
by ShadeeFan April 18, 2003
A cult that dosn't end with suicide.
Hey Timothy, wanna join my new cul-I mean religion?
by Treg August 27, 2003
A sociological institution that's true purpose is to protect the family structure (by alienating homosexuals) through guilt, self-doubt and fear by spouting the dogma of a man-made God in order to increase the reproductive rate of pre-industrial or medieval civilizations, which in turn increases a species overall chance of survival.

Up until about two hundred years ago religion was needed in order to keep high birth rates and control the masses; however today, religion is used as a tool to make war, confuse and psychologically damage people and promote hatred towards diversity
Religion ruined my life and turned me against blacks, jews and gays.
by DesPERRYado November 01, 2004
1) the source of most of the world's problems (ei-discrimination, holocaust, homophobia, terrorism, etc...)
2)a common belief by a large group of weak minded people in an imaginary being that helps them cope with the fact that their miserable lives will end eventually
3)hipocrasy (ei-virginity=priests raping little boys, all are equal=gays should burn)
4)islam, christianity, wicca, satanism, jewdism
5)cults and a form of brainwashing
1)I am Bin Laden, my koran tell me to kill people who believe in a false god, good bye
2)Sick person-mommy i dont want to die
Mother of person-it's ok u'll be with god
Doctor-dont lie to a dying person!! son, it sucks for you, ur goin 2 decay slowly in a casket 6 feet under ground
3)Pastor-all people are created equal and should be treated so, now who wants 2 go 2 the anti-gay protest and watch some child pornos later?? an maybe we'll shoot some jew on the way to the protest!!!
4)Muslim person-I am a muslim, that means i practice Islam.
Christain guy-o well, who cares? we're christian, we're better than the rest of the world so ur goin 2 hell
5)JESUS LOVES YOU, FOLLOW THE BIBLE, IT SHALL LEAD YOU TO SALVATION, now hand over $5 for the collection basket or your going to hell
by Athena the anti-christ November 16, 2004
A series of fanciful concepts that people believe as to:
- Help themselves get up in the morning, achive inner peace, etc.
- Keep their family happy, because all their family are in the religion.
- Feel superior to other people.
- Provide moral guidance because common sense would render them otherwise lame.
- Justify war or general hatred of other groups.
Wow, so we can, like, kill abortionists if we join the right sect of the right religion? Well fuck me, religion it is!
by Stuart October 13, 2003
A lame excuse for abstaining from sex
"He was hot, and I really wanted to hit the sheets with him. But I couldn't, because I'm, you know, religious."
by Alexandra July 27, 2004
A strong belief and following in a higher/supreme being. Many follow a strict code of moral conduct which can vary from religion to religion. A very sensative subject to most people. One of the main causes of war and violence. If you want to piss someone off very fast, attack their religion.
Famous examples include the Jesuites vs. the Japanese in the 14th century and modern Christians vs. everyone else.
by Matt July 19, 2005
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