Religion is like a penis:
1) It's okay to have one.
2) It's okay to be proud of it.
3) It's NOT okay to pull it out in public.
4) It's NOT okay to shove it down little children's throats.
1)
I am religious.

2)
I LOVE my religion!

3)
Mike: Hey Bryan, how are you doing?
Bryan: SHUT UP! YOU'LL BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR SINS!

4)
Suck my religion, little child.
by Morate November 02, 2011
Something that has surely lasted the wrath of time. Despite this, it is fundamentally wrong (every year we learn more about how religion is bullshit), and often racially intolerable (kill the Jews! Ok, now kill the Muslims! All right, whoever's left: kill the Buhdists!). Has been the cause of many great wars, including the most famous of all: the Crusades, of which there were seven, if I remember correctly. It is an excuse to murder, it is a scapegoat in all its forms (well, shit, I just shot my wife--GOD MADE ME DO IT! SHE WAS AN AGENT OF LUCIFER!!!).

I do not simply attack Christianity or Catholicism, no, ALL religons are based off a false worship of some supernatural being that simply is not there. There is no evidence for this (beyond, often, a book--e.g. the Bible--which can obviously not prove the existance of the text withtin it) and whole heaping loads of evidence against.

I like how C-can brings up "Atheists doing bad". What the hell kind of retort is this? What, not believing in God makes you a horrible monster? He listed THREE fucking people out of BILLIONS of atheists, past and present. Good job asshat, you've rebuked nothing. And let's get something staight: Hitler was a fucking Catholic. He murdered millions in his holy quest to destroy the Jews; he claimed he was "Doing the Lords work" and, upon the eve of his war on Russia, the Pope CONGRATULATED his efforts. Throughout the war he was not excommunicated.

In the Middle East countries war over something as silly as nonexistant entities. Since the begginging of recorded history man has made war on other men because they refused to worship the same invisible diety as another.

And for what? Something that doesn't even fucking exist. It's illogical; it's evil. If I could, I would wipe every religion from the face of the Earth and start fresh. Fuck religion. It solves nothing and creates all sorts of unnecesary shit.
Right now innocent men and women are being crushed under a bulldozer in Palastine.
by Mike January 04, 2004
1. Something created by mankind on the 8th day (after the earth created mankind) to instill fear in the common masses who can't see beyond logic.
2. The opiate of the dumbasses.
A man was talking with me one afternoon and he started to go on and on about God and Jesus like they were people he was partying with last weekend. So when I had enough of his religion bull shit, I knocked out his four front teeth with a tire iron and said, "Why didn't God or Jesus do something to stop that ass whipping you just got, you know, since you all are "boys". Seems to me that your savior would have done something unless (a.) he doesn't give a shit, or (b.) he doesn't exist.
by P.Lesh May 07, 2004
An organized group of people with a common belief. Most religions strongly stress ethics and morals along with setting guidelines for people to follow in their day-to-day life.
Religion:
- Christianity
- Judaism
- Islam
- Jainism
- Hinduism
- Buddhism
- Sikhism
- Rastafari
- Wicca
- Taoism (Daoism)
- Shinto
- Confucianism
- Zoroastrianism
- Mandaeism
- Satanism
by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ April 21, 2010
The complete faliure to take responsibility for your own actions, and accept that the position you are in with your life (in most cases) is a direct effect of your actions and your words leaving only you with the power to change it. When we lived in caves we thought spirits made us ill and the moon was made of cheese, for those religious amoung you not much seems to have advanced according to your way of thinking.
Any war, suffering or discrimination you care to think of.
"I was all messed up on drugs, 'till I found the Lord. Now, I'm all messed up on the Lord" - Cheech & Chong
by The Flapsdaddy June 14, 2004
Bull shit and a complete waste of time. The ultimate social tool; convincing people that there is someone constantly watching them and they will be punished for everything in the end. Provides a guideline for life for people who can't think for themselves. Provides a precise moral handbook (yes, it literally is a book- because all the lessons that life has to offer can be condensed into book), for people who think life is just easier when there is a clear-cut right and wrong. Brainwashes people. Gives people an excuse to avert their eyes from reality. Allows people to justify anything in the world under the guise of righteousness. Helps people who can't handle the truth get through the day. A massive lie that people waste their entire lives on. Responsible for destroying countless cultures and killing millions of people. Now remember, Jesus saves...
Religion is holding everyone back.
by Evil Nemo July 17, 2004
An institution that has actually CONVINCED people, many of them reasonably inteligent adults, that there is an invisible man...living in the sky...watching everything you do, every minute of every day. And that the invisible man has a special list of ten things he DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO!!
Furthermore, if you do any of these things, he has a special place, where there is fire and smoke and torture and anguish, and it is there he will send YOU, where you will burn and scream and choke and cry and suffer forever and ever, UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

But he loves you.
As good as government is at the bullshit game, it doesn't hold a candle to religion
by Rakeman September 29, 2005

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