Top Definition
A push gift is demanded by a JAP to compensate for her labor pains and to reward her platinum womb for bringing another child into the world. The give is delivered immediately and I do mean immediately upon giving birth.

The second that the brand new baby exits the vagina to be wiped down, the pussy-whipped husband gives his shrew of a wife a significant item of jewelry. Typically, the price is at least $20,000 and preferably $30,000.

Whether that is to compensate for the incredible sacrifice or merely to deal with the impending post-partum depression has not yet been determined. The utter repulsiveness of the extremely crass act defies description by mere mortals with any sense of humility or shame.

The vast majority of the human race, approaching 99%, would believe that the sheer joy of a new baby would be the most incredible gift of life that a couple could possibly want to celebrate. In fact, that is usually what happens.

Ask yourself what type of person would demand a push gift.
She dropped a lot of hints for her push gift. She left Tiffany catalogs and similar overt messages lying around the house and instructed the maid to not disturb them.

The younger generation seems to be more inclined to push gifts. They have that crying need for instant gratification and ersatz experience to compensate for a fundamental, deep-seated terror in the face of real life. Older mothers would never dream of something so grotesque as a jewelry display in a delivery room. They at least had enough dignity to wait until they got into their private rooms in the recovery ward.

My mom's generation got their push gifts in the form of new cars to drive home from the hospital, or a new nursery for baby and a new wardrobe for mom to try on after that first spa week in the Hamptons or the Berkshires. The low rent version is in Atlantic City.

My friend Tom says that push gifts are just installments of vaginamony.
by Call Me Ishmael or leave a message November 15, 2007

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