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1.
A US Coast Guard member. derogatory.
Navy Sailor: thanks for staying home and watching the coasts, puddle pirate.

Coastie: Someone needs to keep those navy wives warm at night.
by theunknowngl October 16, 2004
 
2.
A small group of men and women conducting maritime, military and, multi-mission service unique among the U.S. military branches. They protect the Homeland with jurisdiction in both domestic and international waters. Envied by other military brances to included the U.S Navy "Squids".
Navy: Your just a stupid Puddle Pirate
Coastie: Hey shipmate someone's got to take care of the Homeland & Navy Wives, don't you know Navy wives make the best Coastie babies :)
by SirPaddy July 31, 2012
 
3.
Any member of the US Coast Guard. Used because the Coast Guard doesn't operate in deep water; usually close to the shore and in lake and rivers.
Why must you be 6'6'' to join the puddle pirates? If your boat sinks, you can walk to shore.
by sanchez6969 July 22, 2013
 
4.
a member of the coast guard who wants to be part of the navy but doesnt wanna work or leave home.
pussy in a navy recruiting office: i wanna join the navy but i dont wanna leave my boyfriend
Navy po: than go be a puddle pirate!
by navy pettyofficer October 05, 2009
 
5.
-one who jumps in and out of puddles shouting 'i'll find ye treasure matey!'

-a man who 'gets around' (male prostitute), and during his orgasm screams 'Arrrgghhh, thereeeee she blows!'; The puddles symbolize a woman's vagina, and the pirate represents the horny man.
Carly said she met this really nice Puddle Pirate down in the kittery, and he was free for the night. I bet she's going to have a wicked night.
by richie sims March 18, 2008