Pornumentary 

Pornumentary is the play by play description of an occurring sexual activity between two people (usually inexperienced) who are totally unaware that their sexual activity can be heard by others.

The following is an excerpt from a pornumentary that I overheard between two teens who camped in a tent next to mine over the Memorial Day weekend.

Jasmine: (tee-hee) Can we try it doggy now?

Brody: (feeling oh so lucky) Sure! But you'll have to move that way a bit!

Jasmine Oooch, that hurts when you slip out and it hits between the holes!

Brody: I'm sorry about that, It doesn't feel too good when I hit the "taint" either!

Jasmine: Taint...? Damn, that rock keeps jabbing into my knee!

Pornumentary by Misty Dawn May 27, 2008

pornament

any small nick-nak or ornament that has a sexual resemblance.

oh thats a nice pornament you have on your mantle piece

pornament by grammar-chiefs July 2, 2011

Pernament

The meaning of long lasting
Not Permanent, PERNAMENT!!

“This sharpie on the wall is Pernament!”

Pernament by M. H. M July 4, 2023

pornament

noun: a pornographic Christmas ornament.

Somehow, Rodney's Christmas tree, decked out in garish purple lights and Mrs. Santa pornaments, failed to convey the solemnity and dignity of this holiest of days.

pornament by Katie Oh! December 7, 2006

Lawn Pornament 

Any seasonal lawn decoration that has been or can be used as a sex doll or sex toy. Can be inflatable or rigid and may or may not be modified to support deviant acts.

My grandma called the police when she saw a drunk college student from down the street defiling her prized inflatable Santa Claus. When the Police arrived, they found him passed out holding a Christmas elf. He had apparently sealed the deal with Donner, Prancer, Rudolph's mouth, and Frosty the Snow Man. When questioned, he claimed that he became addicted to Lawn Pornaments after dropping acid while watching a Family Guy marathon.

Lawn Pornament by tidycat72 December 8, 2009

pornament

Pornographic Christmas tree ornaments depicting beloved seasonal figures in sexual positions, aka SantaBalls

Oh my god, will you look at that pornament! I always suspected Mrs. Claus had a thing for Rudolph and those elves. Now we really know why Rudolph's nose is always so bright at night!

pornament by Springbreaker December 21, 2006

Pornament

An epic competition between (1) rival porn collections or (2) rival pornography artists; Derived from the words "Porn" and "Tournament".

Specific contests can include (for type 1, porn collections) comparisons of size, deviancy, quality and variety. For type 2 (rival porn stars) contests can include comparisons of size, deviancy, endurance, creativity, flexibility, precision and/or ability to induce a knockout blow.

(1) Ronnie was confident his years of porno collection could beat anyone; therefore he challenged his friends to a pornament.

(2) The rivalry between Jenna Jameson and Briana Banks was so intense it could best be described as a "pornament".

Pornament by Nick Vino December 24, 2008