phantom boner 

When the penis becomes erect but you can not for the life of you think why the blood is rushing to your phallus, then you are in possession of a phantom boner. It has no reason to be there, just like Hitler at a Bahmitzvah, It just shouldnt be there.

You are in church singing a glorious hymn, but why oh why are you pointing to the heavens? The phantom boner has taken over and wont go away for at least half an hour

phantom boner by Keithmorreason November 16, 2009

Phantomberried 

While taking a shit you feel the presence of an especially stubborn dingleberry. Unable to free the dingleberry you begin to wipe. The feeling of the dingleberry goes away but you are left with a clean sheet of toilet paper and no sign that the dingleberry ever existed

Joe-Do you remember last November when my IBS was flaring up and I kept getting phantomberried?
Tyler-How could I forget, you spent hours locked in the bathroom trying to solve the mystery.
Joe-It's happening again

Phantomberried by nohomofromcomo December 12, 2012

phantom boner 

The same as "e-boner" which means being aroused or turned on without the physical effects of a full-on erection. This term can be used by either sexes, so it doesn't have to pertain to just males.

Mostly used in on-line chat forums. Also can be used in plural, which is meant to magnify the point tenfold.

Did you check out those pictures of that chick? Oh man, she gave me a phantom boner!

WOW! She has some big tetas! I'm a chick and she gave all of us phantom boners!

phantom boner by acesandiegan February 23, 2011

Phantom-Boner 

when a girl is aroused, it gives the effect of a phantom boner. It's like having a boner, only girls don't have penises, so they get phantom-boners.

Beth: "aaron and luke were so hot when they were making out!"
Becky: "I know! I got a phantom-boner!"

Phantom-Boner by Jake-Off September 12, 2007

Phantom Boner 

When the crease of a male's jeans appears to look like a boner as they sit down. One of the most annoying things experienced by man.

Betty: "Whoa, check out the size of that guy's wang!"
Sue: "Calm down, Betty, it's just a phantom boner."
Betty: "Damn!"

Phantom Boner by The Whovian February 11, 2015