someone who fucks orcs. Must exist, because there's half-orcs in The Return of the King, and where else do they come from? (I don't believe for a second all that nonsense about "Saruman's foul magics"...)
Would also make a very good term of abuse. I'll have to try it out some time (on someone smaller than me and/or who I can run away from quickly).
Tony Blair is an orc-fucker.
My sister would be an orc-fucker, but she doesn't have good enough taste.