Like "once", "twice" and "thrice", but relating to something that has happened exactly zero times.
"How many times have you actually done this?"
"Once or twice."
"Really?"
"Okay, more like nonce."
by Adman12 December 30, 2005

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someone who is a clart and an ignoramus at the same time.
What do you think when you hear the words "keyboardm." A board with keys on it.
by Rob PG Tips March 02, 2005

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The sort of man that would come into your life, principly, to rape your babies. He may be a 'relative', or a 'complete stranger'. Will either befriend you or find ways of getting close enough to you to get at your children.
This may sound strange, but, he may even find a criminal way of impregnating you while you sleep and steal the undeveloped fetus for sex with the baby.
For many years, they drugged and raped me and stole my babies as I slept, and then raped the babies. He must be a nonce.
by janetw April 25, 2006

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slang name for celtic football club, a team for victims of child abuse and religious buggery.
we beat nonce fc 2-0 the other day
by rab douglas February 24, 2005

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A word used in britain for paedophile.
Have you heard about Holly she is a nonce.
by Monbon98 December 01, 2016

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A common English (mainly Yorkshire) insult similar to twat, dickhead and wanker
Samuel is a rate nonce
by OCS LIVO October 11, 2016

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Acronym - Not Of Normal Criminal Element.

Usually used with reference to sex offenders but actually relates to criminal motivation. In simple terms, most crimes is motivated by money and carried out in the pursuit of wealth. Being 'not of normal criminal element' means using wealth to assist in criminal activity.
That bloke is a nonce.
by Dubsparx August 21, 2016

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