Hands off the merchandise! 

Hands off the merchandise!

A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.

Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!

Hands off the merchandise! by QuacksO November 28, 2011

384 Merchandise 

A company based out of Pennsylvania which specializes in making custom one-inch pins for bands. AKA 384.

384 Merchandise makes my band's pins.

384 Merchandise by Dr.Rob Jones April 12, 2008

Urban Dictionary Merchandise 

The advertisement for a mug for my cousin Timmy right this under this definition.

You know about Urban Dictionary Merchandise?
How can I not? It’s right below this sentence.

Urban Dictionary Merchandise by ICan’tFindAnyOtherUsernameSoYa January 6, 2021

hands off the merchandise! 

Basically "Don't touch my stuff, punk."

Person A: Dude, awesome iPod!! (reaches for iPod)

Person B: Hey buddy, hands off the merchandise!

hands off the merchandise! by underdawg November 10, 2008

Voltaire's Mechanized Army 

Similar to Voltaire's Angry Glove, but involves an egg beater.

Fill a drinking glass 3/4 of the way with shards of glass and 1/4 of the way with glue. Grind up 1/8 cup of Fiberglass insulation into a fine powder. Fill a bowl with glue.

Dip the egg beater into the bowl of glue to coat it with a thick layer. Begin rotating and dip into the fiberglass. Repeat several times until there is a thick coating of fiberglass powder on the egg beater. At this point, feel free to experiment, try adding razorblades for fun.

Insert the drinking glass, open end first, into the orifice of your choice. Then with a firm swift motion, ram the egg beater in behind the glass, make sure to break it! Begin egg beating away! Mix it up a little though, move deeper and shallower- try different speeds, angles, and amounts of physical force.

Remember, you can do anything well as long as you put your heart into it!

When the angry glove was no longer enough, Voltaire's Mechanized Army was called into action.

Voltaire's Mechanized Army by Almighty Bluebird March 16, 2008

Merchandising 

Doing basically nothing.

Hey Pete, wanna help move some boxes?

I can't, I'm merchandising.

Merchandising by Apateonas July 8, 2017

handling the merchandise 

The act of masturbating in a grocery store while employing the merchandise to complete the act

"Clean up on aisle 3 in produce. Someone has been handling the merchandise and the avocados have been abused"

handling the merchandise by von groovy September 15, 2019