This is what I do when I see something that excites me and there are no males around. I go find a comfortable sitting and relax. I take my pants and undies off then spread my thighs. I start rubbing the inside of my thigh to get me warmed up. I am already a little wet by now. Then I lick my two fingers and slowly and softly run them across my clit. aahh this feels so good. I'm moaning in anticipation because I know what is about to come. I then lick my fingers again and start at my clit, slowing guiding them into my hole. I make a soft back and forth motion, then as hard as I can shove my fingers as far back as they can go. i moan. I continue doing this a few times and then pull them out. ahh. I am dripping wet at this time. I make a circular motion around my clit and glide acrossed it. I am just teasing myself at this time. I shove my fingers down in there again and quickly go back and forth and around and I do this over and over. I continue moaning louder and louder making weirder and more exciting noises only to turn me on more. I am at the best part now. I pull my fingers out suck them to get all the juices off and then put them in there for one last time. I am working at a fast rate now. Flicking my clit with one hand and jamming my fingers in with the other hand. ahhh. I want to cum so bad I continue my motions. I start breathing harder and moaning louder. I squeeze my titties. I finally cum. I moan as I cum. I rub the juices all over my body and lick those fingers enjoying every last drop. oh man that was amazing.
Jessica- "Hey Jane do you want to masturbate with me today?"

Jane- "Yea! Only if you help me out though."

Jessica- "Of course. I enjoy helping you out."

Jane- "=). If only guys weren't so dumb."

by Jessica22233 April 19, 2009
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Donkey Punch Plush

10" high plush doll.

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to wank off

Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,
But stayed up late, to masturbate.
Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but
I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.
You should see me working on the short strokes,
It's really grand, I use my hand;
You should see me working on the long strokes,
It's really neat, I use my feet.
Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,
I got horny so I took off my clothes and masturbated.
by attack of the pussies February 05, 2006
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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The best thing you can do when you're alone
I masturbated 'till I couldn't breath... it was awesome!
by el_pichum May 18, 2008
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Golden Shower Plush

He's warmer than you think.

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What you probably just got done doing
After I masturbate I surf the web so that if people who suspected me to be masturbating walk in, they will think I was surfing the Internet the whole time.
by Awaress December 14, 2008
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Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

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1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.
by fraghappy November 06, 2003
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Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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the old man masturbated until he died.
by the meat man November 01, 2002
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Donkey Punch Plush

10" high plush doll.

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One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.
Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.
by raspberry (lust) muffin July 10, 2005
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Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

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