masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating

Masturdating by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010

Hashturbating 

A term used by members of the drinking/running club called the Hash House Harriers. It occurs when a member of such club is either excessively talking about hashing or tediously planning a hash trail.

Hasher 1: Where is Penis Fly Trap?
Hasher 2: Oh she's upstairs on Bing Maps hasturbating for her next June trail.
Hasher1: Jeebus it's been 2 hours!

Or:

Hasher 1: Dude! Last weeks trail had so much shiggy!! There was a wall of briars, and I swear Taint No Savior was going to need stitches! Then there was this tunnel that went on forever!!! OMG, and the beer check was up this creek and we had to swim-
Hasher2: I got it! I got! I missed a great trail. Quit hashturbating in front of me.

Hashturbating by P3nis Fly Trap April 30, 2015

masturbating jungler 

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

masturbating jungler by bananas107 May 16, 2023

masturbatinator

A robot sent from the future with really big padded, moist hands that has a wank-speed of 2000 jerks per second.
Designed to give lonely people artificial love.

Cum with me if you are in the mood.

Asta la pasta

I am the masturbatinator feel my finger!

masturbatinator by Dman 182 February 27, 2008