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1.
Keyser is a shithole town in West Virginia that has absolutely nothing to do. Keyser is mostly populated by extremely arrogant senior citizens that complain, overuse the bathrooms, and drive entirely too slow on the roads.
Guy 1: Dude, have you been to Keyser lately?

Guy 2: Nah man, that place sucks...nothin to do but old
ladies. I don't play that game, man.
by Keyser Native June 21, 2008
 
2.
A man that uses keys for anal penetration.
Dave walks into steve's room and see's steve naked with legs in the air pointing to the sky and a big hairy ass staring at him.
Dave: Fuck man stop with the keyser crap, ur making me ill.
Steve: Shut the fuck up bitch, dont knock it till u tried it, help me unlock my ass.
by Taco Lips July 03, 2011