Jonathan Papelbon

kick ass closer/future ace pitcher for the Boston Red Sox; wears number 58 and has a 100 mph heater and nasty splitter - is also the best pick I ever made in a fantasy draft and is the reason why Beaner can't beat the Leprechauns for shit

Jonathan Papelbon has 15 saves in 15 oppurtunities for the Red Sox

Jonathan Papelbon can strike ur ass out with his eyes closed

Jonathan Papelbon by andy40250 May 30, 2006

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Jonathan Papelbon

A closer for the Boston Red Sox who single-handedly blew his team's entire 2009 season in one winning against the Angels.

When the All Star Game was held in New York in 2008 he made the mistake of saying he should close instead of Mariono Rivera. Rivera is both the Yankees' closer and best closer of all time so you think it goes without saying that he gets to close when the game is held in his team's city.

Papelbon, who is from Louisiana and probably didn't finish grade school, didn't understand this and when Yankee fans expressed their outrage at his comment, he claimed he became frightened for his pregnant wife when him and her participated in the parade before the game.

He is a complete moron and yokel who probably has sex with his sister.

Baseball fan: How did the Red Sox do in the playoffs in 2009?

Red Sox fan: They did pretty well but if it wasn't for Jonathan Papelbon who knows how far they could've gone.

Baseball fan: Yeah, he really fucked you guys huh?

Red Sox fan: Amazing how 1 guy was able to blow an entire season in 1 inning.

Jonathan Papelbon by HedoRick September 17, 2010

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Nutshot

It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.

Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.

Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009

Word of the Day on June 26, 2026

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Nerd neck

A "human" that spends so much time playing video games that their posture is level nerd neck. Everytime anyone goes tryhard they hunch down and their neck gets longer there fore a nerd neck is always hunched down cause they're always going try hard. In other words a nerd neck is a try hard, since their neck is 100% longer than the average human being due to playing too many video games and taking them serious, nerd necks are not even considered human anymore but something more sad. Nerd necks are often found on fortnite, their natural habitat usually being tilted towers.

What a fucking nerd neck!

He is building so fast, nerd neck!

Looser more like a nerd neck ha!

Nerd neck by D Sandwich Maker February 5, 2019

Word of the Day on June 25, 2026

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love peace and chicken grease

"another of sayin peace out or good bye"

Talk to ya later......Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease

love peace and chicken grease by Adronna July 19, 2003

Word of the Day on June 24, 2026

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prickup

slip of the tongue perhaps,
Those idiots who drive around in a ridiculously raised pick up truck, making a top heavy vehicle even more top heavy and unstable

A:*gah*
B: "Whats the matter"
A: This dam prickup is blinding me.
B: Stupid thing's, as if there lights weren't blinding enough as it is.

prickup by lunasea September 28, 2009

Word of the Day on June 23, 2026

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Serial Monogamist

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.

Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...

Serial Monogamist by Goody2Shuze March 6, 2016

Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

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