jerkumstance 

1) A jerk, or an event/situation that is influenced by a jerk which causes something shitty to happen to another person; usually to an innocent bystander
2) Suffering the consequences of someone else's stupidity
3) To be splattered by semen; often furtively expelled by a stranger in public, or to a person passed out at a party

Bill: "Oh man - is this jizz on my jacket? I just walked to the corner store and back. I feel like a dirty Lady Macbeth."

Tim: "Damn. That sucks, buddy. Could it be from that apartment building you just passed? You were totally a victim of jerkumstance."

jerkumstance by trainwrecktammy-pomme-de-terre September 21, 2012

jerk bumps 

an outbreak of acne (from a teenage joke about masturbation causing acne)

I just got out of the shower when the jerk bumps came back.

jerk bumps by The Return of Light Joker June 10, 2010

jerkumsiced 

You jerk someone off so hard they become circumcised

I stroked Adam so hard I jerkumsiced him

jerkumsiced by OneWordWonder73 June 3, 2023

jerkpump 

The process of having anal with a woman while jerking yourself off through her vagina. While your penetrating her asshole, she will finger your asshole in order to make you cum, hence forth the jerkpump.

Yo babe, do you wanna jerkpump tonight?

jerkpump by Zer0Alpha00 December 6, 2023

Jewsbumps 

A series of young adult novels written by IsraeR.L. Stein, Jewsbumps chronicles nightmarish events leading up to the end of Jewish control over Hollywood, world finances, and weather control.

Jewsbumps are not just books, they’re a guideline on what not to do when around antisemites. “Anne Frank gives Jewsbumps 4 stars of David. She would give her two cents but she really needs the money.”

Jewsbumps by Dig Nitty May 25, 2024