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horoscope by Bobby Freakin Hill April 23, 2017
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horoscope
horoscope by Falsifications August 20, 2016
horoscope
What you might find in your horoscope:
"You are somewhat tall"
"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"
What you will not find in your horoscope:
"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."
"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
"You are somewhat tall"
"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"
What you will not find in your horoscope:
"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."
"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
horoscope by The Definitionizer December 9, 2006