Hemorrhoids 

When your anus hurts because there's not enough fiber in your diet or you ate a ghost pepper or you destroyed your ass with a dragon dildo, causing massive inflammation.

What the fuck was God thinking when He packed tons of nerve clusters and veins into the anus area?!?!?! Didn't He know that people would get painful Hemorrhoids?!?!?! Didn't he know that I and countless others would be suffering to death at the hands of old age due to His poor decisions?!?!?!

Hemorrhoids by Bad C dev February 28, 2021

Hemroid

A hemroid is a swollen blood vessel. It might bleed and cause a bad case of rectal bleeding. If you do have a hemroid, buy a hemroid specialized cream, I think they sell them at pharmacies and stores.

Kris took a poo and his hemroid popped and started bleeding out like a wound from a bullet.

Hemroid by Ultraf0xDictionary June 6, 2014

Hemroid

Basically, a swollen blood vessel on your ass.

The hooker put my hemroid between her teeth, and popped it like a fruit gusher.

Hemroid by CAT_MARK_1 January 11, 2008

Hemorrhoids 

Bleeding from the asshole.

My hemorrhoids are stinging and have stained my jocks.

Hemorrhoids by Ausstralian November 14, 2007

John Wayne hemorrhoids 

The sound of large amounts of change banging against one's leg whilst wearing loose trousers. So named because of the similarity with the sound of cowboy boot spurs.

"I went to the shop this morning to buy a packet of Apple Hubba Bubba. I only had a £20 note but they had no fivers or tenners! So I've now got a pocket of Cunt's Tender and a very bad case of the John Wayne hemorrhoids."

John Wayne hemorrhoids by Skinbro July 20, 2008

I have serious hemorrhoids! 

A pickup line made from the gods.

You can put it on a mug and every woman that sees it immediately falls in love with you.

Guy: I have serious hemorrhoids!
Girl: Ew!
Guy: :(
GIrl: Im just kidding its so hot

I have serious hemorrhoids! by SpaghettiLover609 December 16, 2022

You and your hemorrhoids 

A Derogative term to address a party, implying that the party has hemorrhoids. This phrase is used for embarrasment rather than sheer insulting.

You and your hemorrhoids better get the fuck outta my sight before I ream your ass!

You and your hemorrhoids by Gumba Gumba February 26, 2004