have this dick
have this dick by tommycrock August 15, 2019
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I have this friend
An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.
Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."
I have this friend by kevnar February 20, 2007
Related Words
have this dick • I have THIS! • I have this friend • IF YOU HAVE THIS CUP YOU SUCK • urban dictionary doesnt have this word • You'll never have this • back off b i deadass have this timbs and if you step on this sumbitches imma nut • Also, I have this cake • All I have in this world is my name and my balls. • I cant believe you have done this
I have THIS!
A simple, but versatile phrase used to introduce a bad-ass possession, especially in a troublesome situation where said possession will have great effect. Also quite useful when you simply want to "one-up" someone by having a more bad-ass version of their object.
It is very important to speak the phrase slowly while emphasizing "this," because it sounds more bad-ass that way.
Originally used by Barry Burton in Resident Evil. After giving Jill ammo for a grenade launcher, Jill asks Barry what he has for a weapon. Barry responds "I have THIS!" while proudly raising his .357 Magnum Colt Python, which is both a bad-ass gun in the game and real life.
It is very important to speak the phrase slowly while emphasizing "this," because it sounds more bad-ass that way.
Originally used by Barry Burton in Resident Evil. After giving Jill ammo for a grenade launcher, Jill asks Barry what he has for a weapon. Barry responds "I have THIS!" while proudly raising his .357 Magnum Colt Python, which is both a bad-ass gun in the game and real life.
Barry: It's REALLY powerful, especially against living things! Better take it with you! *gives launcher ammo*
Jill: But how about you, Barry?
Barry: I have THIS! *raises Python*
Bob: I got this thirty of Budweiser. I'm gonna get more fucked up than you!
John: I doubt it, because I have THIS! *holds up bottle of Jägermeister*
Joe: Man, these fucking weeds out back are as big as trees! I can't even drive the mower INTO them, let alone MOW them!
Jeff: No problem, man. I have THIS! *activates flamethrower*
Jill: But how about you, Barry?
Barry: I have THIS! *raises Python*
Bob: I got this thirty of Budweiser. I'm gonna get more fucked up than you!
John: I doubt it, because I have THIS! *holds up bottle of Jägermeister*
Joe: Man, these fucking weeds out back are as big as trees! I can't even drive the mower INTO them, let alone MOW them!
Jeff: No problem, man. I have THIS! *activates flamethrower*
I have THIS! by Yeret August 1, 2015
Also, I have this cake
A phrase popularized by Paul Saunders of Loading Ready Run in the video 3 PS3s. It is used after telling someone what you have/have accomplished to add insult to injury. You do not need to produce a cake, only something edible (such as pie, as detailed by Morgan vanHumbeck in Computer Envy)
Person 1: Man, I can't get Recon in Halo!
Person 2: Well, I have Recon Armor. Also, I have this cake.
Person 2: Well, I have Recon Armor. Also, I have this cake.
Also, I have this cake by K2Fer October 9, 2009
back off b i deadass have this timbs and if you step on this sumbitches imma nut
New York talk for when someone has a fresh new pair of timberland boots and doesn't want anybody to step on them
You'll never have this
A phrase used similarly to "holy fuck dude, go outside", where it seeks to remind/self-depricate a closeted individual that they'll never have something they want. (ie. Love, Care, Affection)
The phrase has likely been thrown around previously, but it was popularised following a 4chan thread where a bunch of weebs lamented about never being able to have a loving family.
The phrase has likely been thrown around previously, but it was popularised following a 4chan thread where a bunch of weebs lamented about never being able to have a loving family.
You'll never have this by Elliotttheneko August 12, 2021
IF YOU HAVE THIS CUP YOU SUCK
This cup is for people who suck.
That's it.
If this is your cup or mug or whatever the fuck.
You suck.
That's it.
If this is your cup or mug or whatever the fuck.
You suck.
IF YOU HAVE THIS CUP YOU SUCK by Timothy ballsacks official 😎 April 22, 2022