festival of handclaps 

1) A series of excessive, self-congratulatory statements or actions

2) A really disorganized situation with loads of people in the way.

3) A situation involving much disorder, but those involved think that everything is going well.

1) Dave: Everyone in the office seems really happy about this award we won!

Nelly: It really is turning into a festival of handclaps.

2) Dave: Wow, where did all these people come from?! I can't find a thing!

Nelly: I'm tired of this festival of handclaps! Clap clap clap!

3) Dave: Why is everyone so chipper? That's the third client we've lost this month!

Lauren: They are acting like they're oblivious... It's a total festival of handclaps!

festival of handclaps by Sapphires and Swingstars December 7, 2006

Hand Clam 

Clasping the hands together palm-to-palm, insert wet (preferably brined) hands in the anus of partner, and proceed to open and close the hands as if they are a clam, using the wrists as a hinge of sorts.

Clifford’s female companion smelled of fish, so in the spirit of the sea, he hand clammed that ass until he got a brown pearl.

Hand Clam by Do Whoosh Bo Baggins August 1, 2019

One hand clam stand

Phrase: The act of placing one's fist into the vaginal cavity of said women while she is squatting. Then elevating woman off of her feet to put her on display for other enjoyment.

Guy 1: Dude did you see Arnold and that bitch in a one hand clam stand last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, It made for a good show with all the noise.

One hand clam stand by Coochie Carnage May 17, 2013

handclaps

a songs with a beat that makes you dance and clap your hands.

touch the sky by kanye west is such a handclaps song

handclaps by lksdfn September 17, 2006

Second hand clam 

When a man unknowingly eats another mans creampie.

Also known as Eskimo twat shot.

I had Scott cum in me this morning and didn’t tell Dave while you sucked it out of me.

“Omg Becky , you second hand clam”

Second hand clam by Teddilinn November 9, 2019

handblam 

"Hand-Blam" is a term for masturbating, and can apply to both male or female masturbating activity provided hands are used.

I was driving from Newark, NJ to Houston,, TX and whilst driving the thought of beautiful Gloria in her two-piece bikini standing before me entered my mind, and before I knew it I was hand-blammin' while at the wheel of van, and shaking what handblam I could off the left hand out the van window. Afterwards I felt violated, and considered this to be some sort of perverted moving violation.

handblam by The Reverend Soul Train September 11, 2016

Handlampe

A Handlampe isn’t a lamp in a hand, it is a Bug, that will talk shit any time you ask him (even if you not) about his progress.

That little brown guy with black/brown eyes is a handlampe.

Handlampe by The German Doc November 23, 2021