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Awkward Hand Job
When a male convinces a male or female friend to give him a hand job. It is an emotionless act, and is purely a mechanical action. The friend is guilted into performing the act, usually being unenthusiastic and employing sloppy technique. As neither party is interested, the receiver usually finds it difficult to maintain an erection, and climax is rarely achieved.
Neither party benefits from this transaction, and it is usually considered the low point of any friendship. This uncomfortable incident usually leads to a brief hiatus in the friendship while both parties come to terms with their awkward feelings of guilt/shame.
An awkward hand job may be used a form of currency or bartering system for minor favors or small amounts of money.
Used in conversation as "AHJ".
Neither party benefits from this transaction, and it is usually considered the low point of any friendship. This uncomfortable incident usually leads to a brief hiatus in the friendship while both parties come to terms with their awkward feelings of guilt/shame.
An awkward hand job may be used a form of currency or bartering system for minor favors or small amounts of money.
Used in conversation as "AHJ".
Example (Awkward Hand Job):
Person 1: I can pay you back that money I owe you next friday!
Person 2: It's fine, just give me an AHJ and we'll call it quits.
Person 1: ... fine... :-/
Person 1: I can pay you back that money I owe you next friday!
Person 2: It's fine, just give me an AHJ and we'll call it quits.
Person 1: ... fine... :-/
Awkward Hand Job by kevseany August 4, 2012
Related Words
Ice Cream Hand Job
When someone the opposite sex gives hand releif to an individual after having put there hand in any kind of Ice Cream. (ICHJ) for short.
There is also an Ice Cream Rim Job (ICRJ)
There is also an Ice Cream Rim Job (ICRJ)
Guy- "omg i could go for a hand job right now but my dick is sun burnt"
Girl- "how about i dip my hand in this ben and jerrys and give you an Ice Cream Hand Job"
Guy- " YEAH BUDDY"
Girl- "how about i dip my hand in this ben and jerrys and give you an Ice Cream Hand Job"
Guy- " YEAH BUDDY"
Ice Cream Hand Job by BGeezy29 April 10, 2011
Michigan Hand Job
When you gotta get that nut off but it is so cold your significant other leaves her mittens on while giving you a hand job.
It sucked that the battery died and the tow truck took so long to get to us. But, hey at least I got a pretty sweet Michigan hand job while we waited.
Michigan Hand Job by lobo11 October 14, 2009
Slide Hammer Hand Job
Similar to that of a regular handjob, the differnce being that the person giving the handjob uses a slide hammer motion. Starting slow at the tip and then stroking down with extreme force until being stopped by pubic bone. This takes place repeatedly until the person receiving either passes out from pain or a bloody ejactulate occurs. Hopefully both. Slavic in orgin.
You guys hear about Kurt? He spent all day in the ER cause his Slavic girlfriend gave him a wopper of a Slide Hammer Hand Job. He won't be riding his bike for a while.
Slide Hammer Hand Job by LHC***** March 26, 2010
harsh hand job
A variation of the classic hand job in which the woman giving the hand job also spanks/slaps the erect penis in addition to rubbing and stroaking it, often times to keep it hard so the spanking/slapping can continue. The harsh hand job is typically done with the woman sitting between the man's legs or backwards with her buttocks facing the man in an almost "reverse cowgirl" position.
"I got caught going through my girlfriend's roomate's used underwear and in order to keep her from ratting me out I had to submit to a harsh hand job. She kept getting me hard then smacking my dick while scolding me for being a pervert. I never ejaculated so much in my life."
harsh hand job by achingjohnson December 30, 2011