An exclamation indicating displeasure or surprise. See also God Damn it, God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers, Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Fucking A, Holy Jesus on a Stick, etc.
Fuck Jesus, she's got a fat ass!
by Tom December 16, 2004
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An expression used when something cool or mind blasting happens or is seen.
Holy Fucking Jesus!, that woman isn't a woman...it's a whale!
by f00dnetw0rk June 19, 2010
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something you say to smebody when they are complaining about you "not following rules" or "being rude" or if they are just being an annoying goody goody asshole. Can also be used on Jesus Freaks.
Person #1- Hey! you shouldn't do that!

Person #2- Go fuck jesus.
by LolointheSkywithDiamonds July 27, 2008
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You have your hair cut, coloured and styled in a top salon by a man wearing more make-up than you. He tells you the cost of your new barnet - you gasp, then mutter "'sweet italian fucking jesus!' I won't be coming back here again"
by Laura Wilson November 22, 2005
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(1) A really bad turn of events. In addition to the established 'Fuck me' which denotes a bad turn of events, 'Fuck me Jesus' emphasizes a greater deal of anguish and bad luck, some would say on a biblical level. The beginnings of a holy shitfest.

(2) A girl making love to someone named Jesús (Spanish) and can't get over the fact that his name in English is Jesus.
Dude 1: "Hey, are we OK with the math exam? Does someone know we had a copy beforehand?"

Dude 2: "You are fucking kidding me, right?! Didn't you hear they caught us on the security cameras sneaking into the teacher's room."

Dude 1: "Oh! Damn! Fuck me Jesus!"
by maxi215 September 8, 2012
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