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59.
A game in the USA, where two teams try to move down a 100 yard field to the other team's goal by either passing the ball or running the ball given 4 downs to complete at least ten yards to continue the drive. It is a much more entertaining and better sport than the other football played in other countries, and the other football is only popular because they haven't been introduced to a real sport with physical contact and the lack of short-shorts. AL 90 AND MATTHEW ARE JUST A FEW ENGLISH RETARDS WHO CAN'T HANDLE A SPORT THAT INVOLVES TOUGHNESS, CONTACT, AND TACKLING. IT'S BASICALLY LIKE RUGBY BUT BETTER!
AL 90: Hey mate, why don't we drink some tea and watch men run around in short-shorts kicking a ball for three straight hours.

Matthew: Good idea chap, but I've found out a better sport also called football that's in America! It involves more than just kicking a ball! You actually do OTHER things too, and people get to knock the crap out of other people when you tackle them!

AL 90: but hitting hurts and I like watching men in short- shorts.

Matthew: Men in short shorts it is!
by The American Matt November 27, 2006
51 72
 
15.
Nickname for the president's briefcase that houses a laptop that is rumored to have strategic command capability.

Believed to be in the charge of the federal courier service and not the secret service.
The Football is handcuffed to the courier's wrist.
by Seriphimarchangel November 19, 2008
59 52
 
16.
*Not to be confused with American Football.
Football, often called 'The Beautiful Game', is invented by the English and is the most popular sport worldwide. The general objective of the game is to score more goals in their goal than the other team. It has two teams, each with eleven players separated into 4 positions:

*Goalkeeper

*Defence

*Midfield

*Attack

It comprises of two goals on either side of the pitch, with each team owning their own half. The goal that they want to shoot in is on the opposite side to their half.
Each team starts on one side of the pitch, which changes in the second half, and consequently so does the goal they want to shoot in.The game lasts for about 90 minutes (not including extra time) split into two 45 minute halfs, separated by a 10-15 minute 'half time' period.
American: Hey, d'ya wanna play some soccer?

English: What, you mean Football?

American: No, it's called soccer.

English: NO, it's called Football! We invented it!

American: IT'S SOCCER!

Rest of World: It's called Football, OK? Now just play!
by eden1023 June 10, 2011
13 9
 
17.
A term referring to several different team sports around the world. Most games known as "football" actually involve the use of the hands more frequently than the feet, such as American Football, Canadian Football, Gaelic Football, and Australian Rules Football.

The term also refers to Association Football, a game in which players primarily use their feet (although they also make extensive use of the head, chest, and knees while goalkeepers are also permitted to use their hands). Most of the English-speaking world (the USA, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Ireland to an extent, etc.) refers to this game as "soccer" to differentiate it from their indigenous football games, although ethnocentric and culturally insular English people insist that "football" is the only acceptable term for the sport.
Although most English-speaking people from different cultures who live on multiple continents know "football" as a game that involves picking a ball up and running with it, English people themselves know that nothing short of literal translation will do when naming sports. If it's called "football", then it should be a sport where only feet are used. Except for the countless times in soccer games when the players use their heads, chests, knees, shoulders, and sometimes even their hands, of course.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. October 02, 2012
13 10
 
18.
Nuclear retardation diesease where foot grows out of testi satchel
My uncle went to chernobyl and came back with a bad case of foot ball.
by General Asswipe July 06, 2006
25 23
 
19.
A bunch of beefy, burly men beating the crap out of each other just to score a point
Tom: What's football?
Peyton: A bunch of beefy, burly men beating the crap out of each other just to score a point.
Tom: Sounds exciting.
by obamachange August 23, 2013
2 0
 
20.
Is a game where players get paid for simulating injuries and best rolls on the floor.
It's also known as the bank, as the players get paid millions of dollars, although the world is in crisis and people who work their ass off every day of their life, don't even earn enough money to survive.
A: will you watch football today?
B: naah I'm tired of watching the professional "fallersontheground"

A: hey they offered Ronaldo almost a milliard worth contract to switch teams! His pinky is worth my whole life salary.
B: and all he does is change his earrings, do some tricks, laugh to the cameras, act arrogant and occasionally give money to poor (although he never really faced that) for people to think that he has a good soul and deserves to cost more money than there even is on earth.

football ronaldo money ball fake rich poor million
by grumpyme February 21, 2013
12 12
 
21.
Football is the best sport in the history of man, not including wizarding sports like Quidditch. For U.S.A users, it's soccer. You kick a ball into a net, and shout and scream for the rest of the match because you scored.
Guy 1: Hey, I scored a goal in football today!
Guy 2: Well, I scored ten goals in my football match!
by old handle July 04, 2014
0 0