Dirk: Oh dude, you don't wanna know. I went to a stag Friday night and I think the sausage in the sausage and peppers wasn't cooked all the way through. Spent most of the rest of the weekend in the fecal position.
The position you're usually in when you're on the can, pushing hard.
Hunched over, knees and bumcheeks wide, and a bodybuilder expression on your face.
boyfriend: whats the matter sweetheart, you seem tense and bound up over something
girlfriend: oh, I am! I am just so constipated.... and I just want to get it out
boyfriend: no problem - get set in the fecal position and be patient. think good thoughts, you'll be ok