A country that commited the worst crime in the history of man...it discovered America.
English Man 1: I'm so proud to be English, we truely are the best nation on earth.
English Man 2: I agree, but...
English Man 1: What?
English Man 2: We did help to discover America.
English Man 1: True, we are assholes. The whole world would be a better place if noone knew America existed.
English Man 2: Actually, George Bush's ancestors came from Somerset, England so maybe it's a good job America was discovered because at least we got rid of him in time.
by Me1990 December 30, 2007
A country that gave the world the following things:

Generator of electricity- Michael Faraday.
Electrical transformer- Michael Faraday.
Electric motor- Michael Faraday.
Jet engine- Sir Frank Whittle.
Internal combustion engine- Samuel Brown.
World Wide Web- Tim Berners-Lee.
Computer- Charles Babbage.
First self-powered aeroplane (I think)- John Stringfellow.
Flush toilet- Thomas Crapper.
Digital audio player (MP3 player)- Kane Kramer.
Tank- English military.
Lawn mower- Edwin Beard Budding.
Great Western Railway- Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
The locomotive- Richard Trevithick
Vaccination- Edward Jenner.
Antiseptic surgery- Joseph Lister.
Incandescent light bulb- Joseph Wilson Swann.
Steam engine- Thomas Savery, Thomas Newcomen and James Watt (except that James Watt was Scottish, not English).
Clockwork radio- Trevor Bayliss.
Daylight saving time- William Willet.
Fire extinguisher- Ambrose Godfrey.
D.N.A. fingerprinting- Sir Alec Jeffreys.
The defeat of the Germans in WWII- Winston Churchill.
Electric battery- John Frederick Daniell.
Electromagnet- William Sturgeon.
Hovercraft- Christopher Cockerell.
Maglev rail system- Eric Laithwaite.
Computer tornography (CT scanner)- Godfrey Newbold Hounsfield.
First programmer- Ada Lovelace.
Typewriter- Henry Mill.
Modern steam turbine- Sir Charles A. Parsons.
Shakespeare's plays- William Shakespeare
Newton's laws of motion- Sir Isaac Newton.
Gas turbine- John Barber.
Modern atomic theory- John Dalton.
Chromatography- Richard Lawrence Millington Synge.
Seismograph- John Milne.
Splitting the atom - John Cockcroft and Irish physicist Ernest Walton.
Aeronautics and flight- George Cayley.
Discovery of the proton- Ernest Rutherford
Discovery of the electron- J. J. Thomson
Discovery of the neutron- James Chadwick.
Lifeboat- Lionel Lukin.
Following sports originated from England: Modern football, rugby, cricket, tennis, badminton and rounders.
The police force- Robert Peel.
Carbonated soft drink- Joseph Priestley.
Friction match- John Walker.
Spinning Jenny- James Hargreaves.
Collodion process- Frederick Scott Archer.
Stereoscope- Charles Wheatstone.
Linear motor- Charles Wheatstone and Eric Laithwaite.
Cavity magnetron- Harry Boot.
Cinematography- William Friese-Greene.
Thermosiphon (forms the basis for modern central heating systems)- Thomas Fowler.
Parkesine, the first man-made plastic- Alexander Parkes.

Other British achievements:
Abolished slavery- (William Wilberforce)
Women's Rights to vote- Emmeline Pankhurst.
Foundation of the U.S.A.
The English language.
The Industrial Revolution (a major turning point in history that shaped the modern world).
The largest empire ever. (Check Wikipedia if you don't believe me).
Church of England.
English law (forms the basis for legal systems used in Commonwealth nations and the U.S.A.).
Apple pie (also invented in England).
Me: I'm proud to be English.
Non-English person: What? What do have to be proud of, being English?
Me: Well... (names all the things listed above).
Non-English person: .....ah.

Non-English person: English people are faggots! England's done nothing good for the world! Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Me: Just do some research.
by ProudEnglishman February 20, 2009
Amazing place that the british non-english people hate for no other reason but holding a grudge about something that no-one alive can even remember. Oh and they're jealous because we are bigger/ more powerful than them and when people say 'british' they really mean 'english'.
The non-english british also like to complain about how they are discriminated against by the english when really the english don't even think about them and the only thing that'd come in to their mind if you spoke to them was 'cool accent'.

I love you all really but LET IT GO! I haven't done anything to you! Sorry I was born in England!

Oh I'm excluding the Welsh btw, I'n not even sure they speak.
English doctor/ nice guy: Hey you have such a cool accent, maybe I can buy you a drink and show you around after I finish saving peoples lives at the hospital. OH I can't actually, I'm looking after my children so my wife can have some much deserved fun :)

Scottish/Irishman: Yeah that sounds great you sound like a- Hold on??? Was tha a english accent I hear?!?! I don' associate wit bastards frum England!!! Now take yer English bastard self away frum meh!! Meh anscetor's wrath is comin' to yeh, yeh cunt, one day we'll conquer yeh and I'll laugh in yer fuckin pansy english face!

Englishman: I'll take that as a no then?
by omnibenevolent January 18, 2011
Clearly the majority of these people haven't been to England! For a start it's a country where the major majority of the population don't have bad teeth...you're talking about a country where most of the dentistry is FREE! Idiots. English people don't sit around drinking tea or talking like an imbecile "Golly gosh that was truly spiffing!" I think not. There isn't loads of chavs that spit and swear in fact there's more emo's and scene kids. We don't fuck sheep...much ;P and unlike america we're not a counrty full of pussies! American football is like rugby with padding. Grow some balls! We also have better fashion sense than americans and don't act like five year olds on crack. I don't know how any person who is american can call our accents at least we don't act like we're buzzing off life all the damn time! And we don't have a president called Bush...eyes out for you! I don't actually have anything against americans but this pissed me off!
Random american: Dude, like oh my God that was like totally awesome!!!!!
Random england person: I'm buzzing for you.
An average country, not brilliant, not awful. Everyone in England is stereotyped as ignorant, conceited and horrible, but you can't judge a whole group of people based on what you see in the media, and the behaviour of some pricks. No one I know particulary likes England, and I've lived here my whole life. The stereotype of conceited is just that, a stereotype. How you call a whole country ignorant based on your observation of a minority, I don't understand. Anyway, England is fine, it has its ups and downs, like every country, but it judged unfairly.
England... A country judged as 'ignorant' by people classifying a whole countries people on the minority. Yeah, who's ignorant....?
by StereotypingIsIgnorant. November 04, 2011
A country where you don't have to pay for healthcare or a good education, and where kids don't go round shooting everyone because it says so in the 'constitution', a scripture more outdated than the bible, which the yanks also love.

England is bordered by 2 or 3 countries whose names i forget.

ENG-A-LAAAND!!!!!
england na na naa naaa
by raddabwoy January 18, 2011
A country, quite like any other country. Not all of us are the stereotype as we don't all sit around all day drinking tea and eating crumpets while speaking in our Sherlock Holmes voices. Some places have been overrun by chavs, and some places are still quite nice but do have quite a few pricks walking the streets with their fags in their mouths and their hats on backwards while saying the word SWAG repeatedly, but trailer trash is the American version of chavs, because nowhere in the world is free of pricks or perfect. Which I'm sure is a shock to some people.

It's a country with loads of culture and it's not just fields or London. It's good for holidays, because London manages to cram loads of shops in while having some of the most interesting places in the world, like the London Eye (biggest ferris wheel in the world) and some places that are just fucking terrifying like M&M World (4 floors worth of chocolate, you can smell it streets away, and yes I know they're in America too). Oh, and not everyone is a football-obsessed chav here either.

England is just a country, though. Sure, it's had achievements in the past, but that doesn't give English people permission to act like a bitch to other people in different countries, and it doesn't give people the authority to judge every single person in a country based on some dumb stereotype they heard a while ago and have never actually met enough English people to judge them properly.
England is a country. Not all of us are like the stereotypes as we don't all sit around all day drinking tea and eating crumpets while speaking in our Sherlock Holmes voices. Some places have been overrun by chavs, and some places are still quite nice but do have quite a few pricks walking the streets with their fags in their mouths and their hats on backwards while saying the word SWAG repeatedly, but trailer trash is the American version of chavs, because nowhere in the world is free of pricks or perfect. Which I'm sure is a shock to some people.
by Owliye September 01, 2013

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