Better known as Harry Potter land.
England is better known as Harry Potter land.
by The Irish Saint December 15, 2007
Simply, the greatest country in the world. Any negative points said about it, is basically jelousy and every country has equal or far worse points. Britain created the British empire which covered most of the world, and started the industrial revolution which was a turning point in history... Also, our friends in the West, America, uses our language... and along with other countries makes it one of the most spoken languages in history. If it wasn't for England, good ol US of A would be full of native americans, and you woudnt have the necessities you have and take for granted. How great a country must we be, to rule most of the world, and achieving all this even though our country is so small!
WE MAY HAVE A CRAP FOOTBALL TEAM, BUT WE INVENTED FOOTBALL, SO HOW BOUT THAT! in conclusion, England is a phenominal country, and has achieved so much!
"England is so small, but has created so much"
by John-BeProud July 21, 2006
A country steeped in both sucess and failure, and hated by many, loved by few.

Lets take it's people for example, there are some amazingly decent people in England. There are great comedians, fantastic actors and brilliant musicians.

However, these are few and far between, for every good person, there are 20 'chavs' (the lower breed of society who have corrupted England, and make me loathe my own country)

I think however, you can say this about every country, for the American's perhaps its the 'redknecks'. For the scottish, perhaps its also chavs.

I think everyone that has seen the other's descriptions clouded in hate, you should really think to yourself; is it right to stereotype an ENTIRE nation, based on the acts that you SEE in the media.

For example, you probably didn't know that Stephen Hawking would only be alive thanks to our health service?

That wasn't publicised much, because people love to hate and they always will.

Lose the crumpet, tea, teeth etc stereotype and make some judgments for yourself, instead of the crappy view the media presents you.

If your so much better people, then you shouldn't judge like that :-)
England has its up and down's, our support for other's has corrupted our gene pool and ruined our country. There is still some good left, and that should be nurtured, not ignored.
by Azton January 09, 2010
A country obsessed with it's national football team despite not having won a relevant tournament in over four decades. Their football fans are the only fans in the world that a) celebrate BEFORE winning a world cup or Euro cup and b) give death threats to those players (they feel) responsible for failing their countries team. Whenever facing off against their rivals Germany, they will, prior to face-off, hide behind immature WW2 references, mostly consisting of uneducated claims that they singlehandedly won two world wars.

The current 2000's England squad is the very first England squad to allow violent inbreds to compete for a major sporting event. It also features David Beckham, the first ever England captain to be sent off.

Whenever their national team lose (and they are only ever destined to) the country will sink into a deep depression and will show remarkable denial. Plently of riots in town centres and council estates will emerge. Then, the day after, everyone will pretend that the English national squad was only a 'side' interest and will claim that their heart is with club football. At least, for another 2 years.
by David C H May 18, 2009
A nice little country sitting next to France, Spain, Portugal, Germany, and Norway! the people here are quite normal and do not speak all posh like in american films ,nor do they sit around all day drinking tea and eating scones! we do sometimes like a bit of tea and cake, but we also love the fizzy stuff and ice-cream.

We are not that obsessed with football, some of us would rather do cartwheels down hills or watch an awsome tv programe like Doctor who, Lost, Heroes, the X-Factor, Eastenders, My Family or something depressing and worring like Panorama. sometimes Americans decide to copy Brit TV programes which is annoying, but we do love some American tv shows!

We have also produced some wicked Authors: Jk Rowling -Harry potter, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens or Shakespeare! there are also some cool musicans and stuff, Queen, Leona Lewis, The Beatles, The Who and a load of other cool people! we have plenty of awsome actors too! we also gave the world: King Arthur, the knights of the round table and Merlin. we have a lot of history!

most of us have no idea why some people, ehem, AMERICANS, have taken a strong dislike to the English,(probably just jealous of our unpredictable weather) which is silly since some of us have never met an american and most have never offended one.

we are nice. ignore the government and all that. they annoy us too. we hate homework, animal cruelty, maths, double maths, spiders, peas and Twilight. Well I do anyway!
England is full of people. 6 million roughly.

England has a silly sense of humour

England is over there.
by carrotqawfjmnbvdsa\ertuyikjmnb January 11, 2010
Eng=Narrow, Land=Land; "Narrow Land" (German Origin). ENGLAND first became a German colony in approx. 400 A.D. with the export of Continental rejects from Saxony to the southern half of what the Romans called Great Britan. These morons, these intellectual and physical cripples (see example) were exported from approximately the 4th to 12th Centuries to the "narrow land" - much like nuclear and other waste.

The remaining original inhabitants (The Welsh) retreated into Wales as one naturally recoils from human waste or other toxic wastes.

England is a now a country of chavs that has been continuously dominated by foreign rule since inception - significant foreign rulers have included William La Batard ( William the conqueror), the Tudor Dynasty (Welsh), the Stewart Dynasty (Scottish), the Saxo-Coburg-Gotha Dynasty (renamed Windsor) (German).

This trend continues today with pseudo royal seed of the House of Brandenburg X Windsor pups and the elected Prime Minister Tony Blair(Scottish) which proves that the modern day Englishman is still not very bright!
Proof that the seed of England is Germanic is provided in its mutilated low German language :

Gut = good
Besser = better
Hallo = Hello
by Oglaigh na Eireann August 22, 2005
England is without a doubt the BEST country in the world, despite being ruled by a total idiot. But, to be perfectly honest, I have not yet found a competent leader or government. COntrary to what a majority of naive fools think, the English DO NOT drink tea and eat scones all day and DO NOT talk like the queen. In fact, the English are way tougher then any American (don't believe me, watch Green STreet Hooligans) and at least we fight like men and use our fists instead of running a mile and then using one of the thousand guns stored around the house. Sorry, yanks but England founded your 'great nation' and giving you independence was the biggest mistake we ever made.
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese

by Bubs_13 October 23, 2007

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