goth detectives 

The mystery adventures of goths Bob Skeleton and Macabre de Coiffure (As played by Noel Fielding and Russell Brand). When the theme tune starts they run out of their coffins... weeelll not run, more like saunter. Goths don't run.

"The goth detectives can get the job done in 48 hours!"
"We could get it done quicker, if we weren't so bloody miserable!"

goth detectives by Naboo That's Who June 12, 2008

defectivesnivy 

niger balls

I have got a defectivesnivy

defectivesnivy by xqwertyuicdbsfdkub February 15, 2019

delectile 

prefected manner of describing the male toy; hard object, often gloppy and rather vibrant.

Rick barged out of Drake's love cell with a vibrantly perplexing expression, with a throbbing delectile in one hand, and filmy substance in the other.

delectile by Geoff April 18, 2003

Toilet Detectives

Girls usually found in pairs frequenting bar/clubs toilets with an aim to find gossip. Will find unlikely victims, possibly in a state of intoxication to spill their inner most secrets/problems/issues to the Detectives and will then become part of a memorable night out. Occasionally Toilet Detectives will be armed with CSI style tape for comedy purposes and generally find other police-like memorabilia such as truncheons and hats.

Toilet detective 1: Wow, that's a pretty skirt.
Victim: Thanks (proceeds to look sad) my boyfriend gave it to me
Toilet detective 2: oh that was nice of him
Victim: not really, he's CHEATING on me!!! (breaks down into tears)
Toilet detectives: why don't you tell us about it.....gossip ensues.

Toilet Detectives by the purple panda March 9, 2008

Dejectile  

People of lesser knowledge, or just people who act common in a stereotypical way. People who blend into general Society.

Man, those people, they're.....just a bunch of Dejectile 's

Dejectile by Easy and Will October 8, 2007

Cretin Detectives 

A syndicate of special agents trained in the art of discovering what is known in the trade as "cretin on cretin love". This is when 2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on deceit, only to be discovered and uncovered by the Cretin Detectives. After this relationship is unearthed the detectives are then obliged to bring this matter to the attention of anyone who will listen, causing unknown harm and humiliation to one or more of the Cretins.
Ways in which this can be done:
* Large posters in in highly populated areas.
* Telling family members anonymously.
* Flyer campaigns within large events such as fun fairs and children's game shows.
* Bringing to the attention of your flat mates a carefully placed mirror under a door.
... This will result in maximum circulation.

2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on the premise that one of them will become bi-sexual and the other in order to hide this will have sexual relations with anyone that looks their way (or not), this includes: driving instructors; ex-boyfriends; ex-boyfriends of best friends; ex friends of boyfriends; friends from the past; friends from the present; and strangers who are friends you haven't met yet.
Eg. "Omgosh, those guys were so caught out by the cretin detectives!"

Cretin Detectives by Jude Clipsom and Katie Halstead June 19, 2008

Dick Detectives 

The breed of men who like to investigate meat and two veg.
Most famous of these being Cock Columbo.

I have to make sure there are no Dick Detectives operating before I take a squirt.

Dick Detectives by B-Neutron September 11, 2006