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cranial rectitis 

1. n. A condition noted by behaving in such a puerile, obnoxious, and moronic manner as to have one's head up his or her ass. Note that things are dark and smelly for someone with this condition.
2. When someone is severely afflicted to the point that his or her shoulders are two-blocked against the buttocks, this is known as "perpendicular cranial rectitis."
Why do all those Hollywood idiots have such cranial rectitis?
Boy, Harry Reid debates with all the intellectual acumen of SpongeBob SquarePants. How did he contract perpendicular cranial rectitis?
cranial rectitis by Dan1271 November 8, 2007

ANAL-CRANIAL INVERSION SYNDROME  

A chronic condition by which the physical connections between the buttocks and head are reversed, causing fecal material to spew from the mouth. Conventional treatments include wiring the jaws shut or the prompt use of a gag ball.

ACIS is more harmful to those coming in contact with the ACIS person than the ACIS person him/herself. Even casual contact results in looks of disbelief, screaming and the uncontrolable urge to place one's hands over one's ears and yell "Make it stop". Family and friends living with an ACIS patient are advised to wear ear plugs, or in more extreme cases, to drive shiskabob spears through their ears.

Not to be confused with having Head-Up-Assitisis or Asshatoses.
President Bush displayed symptoms of Anal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome at his last interview when he spoke about his legacy.

cranial rectal inversion 

"Are you really that stupid? You must be suffering from a cranial rectal inversion. What a dumb-ass."

Cranioanalectomy 

Surgical removal of ones head from their ass. This outpatient procedure can help improve ones general view of reality if done before the condition becomes permanent.
He had his head up his ass so long his outlook had become crappy, then his wife read about a miracle cure for the condition know as the Cranioanalectomy.
Cranioanalectomy by Pappy11x4 December 31, 2016

Cranial Rectumitis 

A condition where the head is stuck up one's rectum, preventing this individual from seeing and discerning facts. Usually treated by a Glassectomy

See Also: Head Rectumitis, Cranial Rectal Inversion
That jerk has severe Cranial Rectumitis and needs a Glassectomy!
Another term for being way too fucked up off a substance.
Jake: Yo, you good bro?

Joey: Yeahhh I'm good but this weed got me Cranial right now.
Cranial by RealJay January 4, 2021