A magical place where it is rumored that learning takes place, although to those who enter it is often described differently afterward, as a beatiful land in which beer flows in amber currents next to a golden pasture, where virgins lie naked with gentle smiles upon their calm, inviting faces; but more precisely, a Shangri-La rite of passage into adulthood which involves rampant consumption of alcoholic beverages, flagrant and promiscuous sexual behavior, and a general and fundamental disregard for any form of responsibility by its habitants.
Thank you sir, may I have another?
A place where you pay a lot of money to go to, told they're the "best years of your life", that there's great food, endless parties, and lines and lines of hot girls waiting to throw themselves at your feet. In reality, college is just an extension of high school: the food sucks just as bad as your HS cafeteria, you're not going to really be drinking unless you're 21, have a fake ID, or know people, and the girls all form inpenetrable cliques and you will be accused of being a "rapist" or a "loser" or "fag" if you try to do so much as chat up one of them. Only the "cool" people have fun in college, just like HS.
My Roommate: Yo man you goin' out tonight yo
Me: UH, NO I'M NOT 21 SO I GUESS I'm JUST GONNA SIT IN MY ROOM TONITE AND TWIDDLE MY THUMBS AND CRY TO MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM.
An alternative to buying a Ferrari (they cost about the same).
Damn, that Ferrari costs almost as much as college.
A highly overated pyramid scheme in which, in exchange for four+ years of your life, you get financially raped by the school bookstore, tuition office, and the american educational system. And as a bonus you get a piece of paper called a 'Duh-Gree' which you pin to your shirt so potential employers will know why you are so stupid.
EMPLOYER: So why do want to work here?
EX-STUDENT: Because I went to college, and therefore I am entitled to a high paying job.
EMPLOYER: Of course. I think you will do well with us. Here is a corner cubicle where you'll spend the rest of your life complaining about why you never get a raise and dot.com dropouts are making more than you.
EX-STUDENT: Sounds great! The job world isn't so hard after all.
a forty thousand dollar bar tab
i cant wait to go to cheers
Educators don't think of students as purchasers of a service (customers)
Supposedly the best years of your life. More accurately, a hellhole that knows no mercy and loves to beat you down and make you feel worthless. (See UC Berkeley)
College is supposed to be the best years of my life. I now want to kill myself if these are the "best" years.
A place where you apply to go learn a ton of shit you won't use in your desired profession. Seriously, why the fuck does someone pursuing a major in biology need to take psychology and western civilization courses?
When applying to 4-year-colleges, remember this: they only give a shit about your GPA and SAT scores. So if you're an overacheiving jock in 12th grade with no morals and a lengthy disciplinary history who likes to get drunk and fuck whores on the weekend, then you're more likely to get into a 4-year-college than someone with values who went to a community college that has a 2.65 GPA and an SAT score around 1000. Or, if your family is rich, it doesn't matter how shitty your grades in high school are, you can even get into Harvard if daddy is willing to make a "donation".
If you are somehow able to get into a 4-year-school but don't look like Brad Pitt, you probably won't get laid, unless you can find a girl that is drunk enough.
Going to college and flushing $40,000 down the toilet are the same thing, basically.