If you work at a nursing home because you enjoy wiping other people's butts, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever pooped your pants laughing at a poop joke, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever dried a turd in a food dehydrator, then coated it with laquer, put a fish hook in it, then mounted it on a plaque that said "Brown Trout", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever eaten your pants because you wanted to shit your pants, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever taken a shit that wasn't yours, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever butt-chugged a half-price margarita in the bathroom of a restaurant, you might be a clamneck.
You are a clamneck if you name all of your turds.
If you have a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be E. coli", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tipped over a Johnny On The Spot while you were on the INSIDE, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tried to store a fart in a jar, you might be a clamneck.
If you have a brown cell phone case for the purpose of camouflaging poop stains, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever pooped your pants laughing at a poop joke, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever dried a turd in a food dehydrator, then coated it with laquer, put a fish hook in it, then mounted it on a plaque that said "Brown Trout", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever eaten your pants because you wanted to shit your pants, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever taken a shit that wasn't yours, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever butt-chugged a half-price margarita in the bathroom of a restaurant, you might be a clamneck.
You are a clamneck if you name all of your turds.
If you have a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be E. coli", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tipped over a Johnny On The Spot while you were on the INSIDE, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tried to store a fart in a jar, you might be a clamneck.
If you have a brown cell phone case for the purpose of camouflaging poop stains, you might be a clamneck.
by Clamneck January 1, 2014
by Stink, stank, stunk March 5, 2014
Long Erect Nipples much like the Neck section on an american Saltwater clam.Often Clam Necks will found frequenting your more disreputable tavern and bars(see barfly)and for the price of a few strong drinks you can take them home and twist them between your fingers.
"hey I picked up this drunk barfly the other night at Joes Bar and Grille and I twisted her clamnecks all night long!"
by ray williams June 27, 2007
A gargantuan clamneck is male OR female fat as a elephant with no desire to reduce their girth, sometimes discovered when a hole gotta be cut in the side of the house for a doctor visit. Funny thing about a true gargantuan clamneck is that when the status has been reached they movement can be so limited that a facilitator is often required a'la MASTER BLASTER relationship...
holy shit my aunt Gerry was so fat she almost sunk da boat,
I think she's a freakin' gargantuan clamneck!
I think she's a freakin' gargantuan clamneck!
by spidergrafx October 17, 2010