2. to affect with folly; make foolish or fatuous.
–adjective 3. infatuated.
–noun 4. a person who is infatuated.
My friend Matt is infatuated!
1. Number of people on earth: 5,592,832,000
2. But just under half are women (I presume it goes without saying that I would seek exclusively female companionship): 2,941,118,00 women on earth.
3. Given that the chances of my meeting a babe from Bhutan or a goddess from Ghana are limited, we need to limit the reasonable scope to the number of women living in developed countries: 605,601,000.
4. Given that I'm neither a pedophile nor a gentrophile, we need to limit the scope to women between the ages of, say, 30 and 55. The population tables don't list specific ages, but if we assume that the women in the age group "20 to 44" and the women in the age group "45 to 59" are evenly distributed, we end up with the women living in developed countries in roughly my age group: 65,399,083.
5. But of course not all of them are women I would consider beautiful. Let's not go overboard: let's assume that there are lots of women I could consider beautiful. Assume, in fact, that beauty is normally distributed in a given population, and that I could consider any woman two standard deviations above average to be truly beautiful. I would be left with: 1,487,838 beautiful women, living in developed countries, in my age group.
6. But lots of them are stupid. Assume that intelligence is likewise normally distributed, and assume that a woman one standard deviation above the norm is smart enough not to make me want to stick ice picks in my ears when she talks. This eliminates just ove 84% of the remaining women, and leaves me with 236,053 women who are cute enough, smart enough, live in developed countries who are roughly my age.
7. Half of them, let's say, are in relationships, slashing the field to 118,027 women.
8. Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she'll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed, there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. In that case, referring to our previous calculation, only 15.8655% of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner. This means that there are 18,726 women who fit my criteria, while I also fit theirs. (Note that, if we chose two standard deviations instead of one, the number would shrink to only 2,361 women. I'm assuming that women are less picky about what their men look like, an assumption that is validated by just glancing at couples in parks.)
Seems like plenty. At first glance, a datable population of 18,726 may not seem like such a low number, but consider this: assuming I were to go on a blind date with a new girl about my age every week, and assuming I have no idea where any one of these 18,726 reside, I would have to date for 3493 weeks before I found one of the 18,726. That's very nearly 67 years.
So, absent the blinding, amazing luck that caused me to find Shantele, I would have been 114 years old when I finally found love.
Don't ever try to tell me I'm not the luckiest guy on earth.
"No, that healed up. She's just head over heels infatuated with her guy."