Christmas Derangement Syndrome describes a fanatical and borderline psychotic obsession with all things "Christmas," specifically the
American style celebration which centers around mindless consumerism and the glorification of kitsch. This celebration has little to do with the birth of one Jesus of Nazareth, the prominent figure in Judeo-Christianity.
Symptoms of CDS are as follows
1) wanting or actively binge watching cheesy hallmark channel christmas movies all year long
2) wanting or actively listening to cheesy
christmas music all year long
3) decorating the exterior of one's dwelling in
christmas lights and displays as soon as they appear on store shelves, which typically in August or September
4) being absolutely delighted when retail stores start putting out christmas displays in August
5) frequenting the all-year christmas decoration stores, or discussing wanting to go
6) keeping a "holiday tree" up all year long as thinly veiled excuse to keep their abode christmasy
7) refusing to acknowledge that the fall/autumn and winter seasons exist, it's "
christmas season"
8) frequently announces how many days, weeks, months, sleeps, or Fridays it is until christmas, even if it's December 26th
9) stocking up on a year's supply of their favorite christmas fragrances at Bath & Body Works so they can
use them all year long
10) firmly believes "the war on christmas" is real
There is no known treatment for Christmas Derangement Syndrome at this point in time.
Person 1: OMG I
CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!!! I'M GONNA START
DECORATING RIGHT NOW!!!
Person 2: it is July and it is 100 degrees outside, you don't need to decorate for christmas, you have Christmas Derangement Syndrome, and
you need help.
