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1.
UK: Insult used in the military when a recruit is either accident prone, clumsy, just plain slow or a combination of these.

Variations include:
Chocolate kettle
Chocolate fireguard.
PRIVATE you have left your safety catch of AGAIN...YOU ARE A SLOB, you are about as much use as a fekin' CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!, etc, etc....
by Blue Cawdrey November 22, 2004
 
2.
UK: A chocolate teapot is an utterly useless item. Alternative terms also used are chocolate fireguard and chocolate kettle.
Refering to a useless or pointless item /deed /action /incapable person: "as much use as a chocolate teapot"
by Clansman April 22, 2009